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Wrap Spittle… because anything less would be uncivilized…
How’s YOUR lligence?
Uh
See, so into the color and the graphic, would I be, that I wouldn’t even clue into the author’s note that this store basically offers 1 degree more interesting shit than you have now.
Kind of a raw deal, if you ask me
Beacon Pizza…sounds like porno…
And speaking of porno… even the LOGO works here…
The same cannot be said for cold tofu eggrolls… as I just discovered.
Those workmen are out to get me… I can just feel it.
You pay premium price for premium flavor. That’s the rule.
I mean, here, I’m not sure, but I think that on either side of this sign, there’s like comfortable couches arranged on train tracks… it’s another conspiracy!
Sort of like a sale at Prada…
Yum
For those who feel extra threatened by their environment…
And finally, frogfat flavor… what a pairing!
I should mention that the source of this batch actually lost half his body weight in his travels. That’s not THAT surprising, I suppose, given the frogfat action… but still, impressive.
http://www.rahoi.com/2006/01/missive-accomplished.php
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Gramma-WRONG: Badly-Done Bootlegs
28/02/06
"Here comes the Brine!"
This is Lung's in-house nickname, by the way....
And this would have improved the scene...
Sigh
http://www.boingboing.net/2005/07/13/cr ... dvd_c.html
http://www.boingboing.net/2005/06/17/en ... y_on_.html
http://www.boingboing.net/2004/12/23/mo ... ed_ch.html
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24: Season 5: Ep 10
28/02/06
Oh man how I wish I could pull a Section 112 every once in a while. Lynn going apeshit, firing people left and right, and not doing anything except telling people they're not doing anything…I know I've been here before. Audrey rises to it all and continues to go behind his back with SuperChloe sidekick. But all capped off with Curtis being the man and saying "I will draw my weapon." And the gurad knows Curtis will kick his ass before Lynn does. Loved it.
But why every computer system seems to be so easily hacked into from CTU I don't know. A little too easy for Jack to get in, including fingerprints. And of couse there's the "Hi I have a meeting. What, my torn clothes and these bloodstains? It's very trendy in business LA right now" issue. But no, please come right in. Sure we do weapons work for the military, but we won't even escort your, just feel free to wander. Alright, whatever.
I did enjoy Peter Weller, with the bad blood and all that. Why he hides behind his door with a taser I don't know. And the sneaky double cross was well played. I first expected him to let Jack into the vault first and lock him in. After that didn't happen, I thought things were happy. So I enjoyed the multiple opportunities with the twist finally coming later on. I wonder if those clipboard bombs are standard issue at Omicron? And I've never seen the "Hide From a Bomb" use of raised floor advertised before, but it was entertaining.
The Logan / Martha thing continues to be great…not my favorite part, but extremely well done. And Mike's stares have just become so disapproving it's amazing. And at least they didn't kill off Pierce…came through taking out a couple of nasties in the end. Oh, and I's also like my car to be rocket-proof.
9 whirrs…
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Ninja Attack! In Healdsburg, CA
27/02/06
"(2-27) 13:19 PST HEALDSBURG -- An armed man wearing a black, ninja-style mask was shot to death by a Healdsburg man this morning after he attacked the man's wife outside their home and chased her inside, police said.
The shooting happened about 7:30 a.m. at the end of Sunset Drive, a semi-rural street on the east side of town.
The woman was about to take the couple's two Wheaton terrier dogs for a walk when the masked man jumped her outside her garage, police said. The woman struggled, broke away and ran screaming into the house, with the attacker in pursuit.
Her screams awoke her husband. The man, whom police identified only as a man in his 60s, "grabbed their handgun, probably a .357 ... and fired more than one shot," Police Chief Susan Jones said.
The intruder "had what looked like a firearm in his hand," Jones said. He died at the scene. His identity has not been released.
"The husband is fine. He's uninjured," Jones said. "The wife is being treated for a head injury that she sustained sometime during the struggle, but she's going to be fine."
Jones said the intruder may have been hiding behind some garage cans, waiting for someone to emerge from the home.
The chief said the incident "is completely out of the blue" for the town.
"Actually, our crime has been down this year. This is really unusual," she said. "It's really frightening if this is a random act."
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Assault on Precinct 13 (2005)
24/02/06
Assault on Precinct 13 (2005)
Click hereto read the IL/WR reviews of the original 1976 John Carpenter version.
OK, so way back when me n WR reviewed the original , we had grand plans of seeing this remake and immediately following up with its review. Alas, we never quite made it to that movie, but thanks to HBO, Tivo, and a wife with other plans for the evening, I managed to squeeze in a viewing, which was perfect for my general state of malaise that fine evening.
So the beginning of the movie is actually pretty fuckin dope. It's got the same vibe as that brilliant opening of the original "Lethal Weapon," with the main character, deep undercover on a drug bust, just OWNING the part of the tweaker. This is followed by the opening credit graphics, also super cool. After that, things slow down, but not to an unbearable degree. The introduction of the anti-hero, Bishop (Laurence Fishburne), is cool, and the introduction of the secondary and tertiary cast (including the brilliant John Leguizamo) is pretty OK. Certainly nothing yet to make me think the movie will suck, by any means.
Things start to get a little shaky here, with the uber-hot Drea DeMateo, totally whored out and flaunting her assets (ahem) all over the screen and talking about who, how, where, and why she likes to fuck. This is a great scene if you're 14. (Aw, who am I kiddin, it's a great scene if you're ALIVE.) But you get my point. It's like, "OK, I get it, you're the sexpot, let's move on."
The scene being set is that this out of the way precinct at the edge of Detroit is closing its doors and there's a skeleton crew holding it down till morning in a blizzard. A truck carrying Bishop and some other prisoners starts having trouble with the snow and has to lay over in the station overnight. Unfortunately, Bishop has all the corrupt cops in town after his ass, and they're about to put the hurt on ole Precinct 13, which, by their math, only has three people runnin the show. This is the big difference between this film and the original. In the original, it was gangbangers attacking the station. In this one, it's cops. The rest runs pretty much the same, though, they arm the prisoners and up their numbers significantly and begin to try and hold off the attackers till dawn. Commence a lot of really cool militaristic imagery, with SWAT cops and silenced AR-15s poppin off everywhere.
In the end, it's nothing more than a typical action movie, nothing special at all about it, but what's wierd is that they have this fucking AMAZING cast, and it's still not an amazing movie. Check this -- Ethan Hawke, Laurence Fishburne, Gabriel Byrne, John Leguizamo, Drea DeMateo, even Brian Fucking Dennehey is in this thing and they just can't make it more than your typical action fare. I think because the story was so weak (in both the original and the remake), even this cast couldn't bring it together. The writers altered the story to make it a little more modern and believable, they even threw in a double-cross and, as I said earlier, a BRILLIANT opening scene. But it never quite materialized.
HOMAGE MOMENT - In a scene that is a shot-for-shot duplicate of one in "Die Hard 2 : Die Harder," Ethan Hawke, who is being beaten about by one of the baddies, reaches out, grabs an icicle off the bottom of a truck, and jams it into the eye of his attacker, who then falls down dead.
5/10 Clanks.
IronLung out.
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These Girls
22/02/06
We went to the Sunday showing of These Girls, a dark, comedic twist on the old "coming of age in a small town" story. The movie was written and directed by John Hazlett, adapted from a play by Vivienne Laxdal (the movie version was described by Mr. Hazlett as a "radical revision"). We want to note straight out of the box that we loved -- LOVED -- the soundtrack.
But there's a lot to like about "These Girls," in addition to the music. For one, we're unabashed fans of David Boreanaz, who plays Keith, a sort of "bad boy" that's kind of grown up--or at least is married and has a baby daughter. For Boreanaz, this was a good test of his range; he's slightly pathetic, sneaky, not very smart, and not so responsible--not at all "Angel"-like. Caroline Dhavernas, recently of the late television series "Wonderfalls" (which we also liked quite a bit), is great in the lead role of Keira, a small-town girl that's tired of playing it safe. She's wrestling with whether she should go off to "University" (this is Canada, btw) --something her father wants her to do, which is the primary reason she's resisting it. She wants to take chances and experience new things, but of her own design, rather than those of her overbearing father. Dhavernas plays the character with the sort of wryness that made her appealing on "Wonderfalls," yet the emotional arc (and subject matter) of These Girls gives her a chance to flex her acting muscles a bit more. Of note: Mr. Hazlett indicated in the Q&A session that Dhavernas is a native French speaker, and English is her second language. We'd have never known.
Another nice surprise was Amanda Walsh, who we'd never heard of before, playing the role of Glory, the girl who sort of starts the ball rolling by having sex with the Boreanaz's Keith. Rounding out the girls, Holly Lewis plays Lisa, a baseball-obsessed 7th Day Adventist who wants some carnal knowledge before going off to boarding school. It's an amusing role what Lewis pulls off for the most part, particularly in the scene where she's throwing herself at Boreanaz, but feels a bit overacted at times.
The basic plot: The other two girls discover Glory's affair with Keith, and each conspires to have a similar experience. At first, these lifelong friends fight about the situation, but eventually achieve a sort of uneasy equilibrium, where they take turns -- all of which, by that point, is against Keith's will. The girls are blackmailing him with the threats of exposing both the affair(s) and his marajuana cultivation. Of course, this equilibrium comes unhinged. Control, or the lack thereof, is a major theme throughout this movie.
What we didn't like: Okay, so we're not buying Boreanaz in a bandanna, sorry -- either you can pull it off or you can't. Somehow we doubt it'll hurt Boreanaz in the long run (again, we're big fans of his). There was one line of dialogue that also hut us the wrong way, where a more or less mentally challenged teenager quotes Sesame Street -- it struck us as unimaginative and a bit gratuitous. But these are but nit-picks; we liked the film a good deal. If not for the "underage girls screwing a man twice their age" plot point, it could well have made a decent showing in U.S. theaters, we think -- as it stands, according to Mr. Hazlett, it looks like you'll be able to pick it up on DVD.
http://www.sfist.com/archives/2006/02/0 ... _girls.php
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24: Season 5: Ep 9
22/02/06
The Hobbit has now completely lost it, and has embarked on serious Blue Shirt manager type antics worthy of any job most people have worked in…I know at least Wrongrobot can relate. Insecure Logan is blaming him for the loss of the lead to the nerve gas, and that in conjunction with his 'mugging' has him cracked. Suddenly he sees everyone as against him and operating behind his back (which they are). He's about to start foaming at the mouth. And I think it's perfect. I can totally see the restrained controlling Lynn having 1 setback too many and loosing it completely. In the next ep he'll have locked up or fired everyone but Chloe and be running around thinking he can do it all himself. Good times. Though how Chloe keeps flying under the radar when she is ALWAYS the one involved is beyond me.
I'm torn on the whole Nathanson thing.
Good: He was part of the shadow government thing trying to release the nerve gas in the terrorist camp.
Good: He finally came out to play, and though he keeps proclaiming his patriotism, he's in it for himself and seems to be more a mercenary type who needs help now because the nasties are out to get him
Bad: He's awfully short lived. Seems like he could have been an interesting character, and was so important in the earlier eps. We barely got 10 words out of him before the end.
Bad: And this is one of those ridiculous 24 bad things – why the hell can he only talk to Jack? There had better be some explanation for this later on, because it is such a forced way to make Jack get on CTU's bad side again. And at poor Curtis' expense.
Logan continues to excel at his despicableness, spreading blame and taking no responsibility. Though he does make the hard decision to give the terrorists the Russian President's route to the airport (so they could draw a big red X on the map). And manages to smile through it all. Now Mike's looking less suspicious again…I'm starting to think that's just the look he has on his face all the time. Martha's character comes through though. The whole walk to the car I suspect everybody, myself included, expected her to have a break down and blurt something out, forcing her to be locked up and start over again. The idea to hop in the car and force Logan to deal with it was brilliant. Probably impossible, but brilliant.
So 8 whirrs…
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Brokeback Mountain
20/02/06
There's so much trivialization of homosexuality in the mainstream media these days, with ignorant Little Gay Sambo dog-and-pony shows like "Will & Grace" and "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," where gay folks are not simply stereotyped, but also expected to do a song-and-dance show for their straight massas. It's disgusting and vile, and it needs to end.
Anyone who is blessed with the gift of empathy, or who lives in a liberated surrounding, knows that along with the lisping, sashaying male stereotypes, and the close-cropped, chain-wallet-wearin female stereotypes, there are also gay folks that are just like everyone else. In fact, MOST gay folks are just like everyone else. And what no one seems to realize is that when you grow up gay (because, surprise, this is not a decision that someone makes one day out of the blue), you are trained by society and adolescence to be as homophobic as everyone else. And so where does that hatred and misunderstanding get directed? Right back at yourself.
Those ideas are where "Brokeback Mountain" begins to get some of its enlightened and intelligent approach to the story of the two main characters, Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal). The two meet in the summer of '63, as hired hands on a sheep drive across the title mountain. At face value, they're a couple of cowboys just workin for a living. But as the summer and the drive go by, they not only develop a friendship, but a romance as well.
This romance continues for the next 20 years, in secret, with the two of them stealing off to Brokeback Mountain for 'fishing trips,' while they continue to put their straightest foot forward out in the world, getting married, having children, etc.. Their "cover families" as I like to put it. There were complicated relationships in there that went so deep I couldn't even find words for them. Ennis' wife knew from the first time Jack showed back up after the trip where they met, 4 years later, and for YEARS never said a word. She lived in a world of confusion and anger and pain, until she left Ennis, putting him in the even more painful position of now having to balance his life, his daughters, whom he cherished passionately, and this man that he loved. And Jack, who was way more interested in being who he was, world be damned, married a fast woman and had a son that we never really saw more of than a few scenes' worth. I know TWO dudes who had children back in the 70s to keep the world off their backs, and that's been, to this day, the scariest, most unexpected means of self-defense I've ever heard of. To have it shown in a movie which already was trapsing on some modern, heady concepts around the subject matter was just more validation to me of the clarity of focus that the writer and the director had.
It's painful and sad to watch in parts, because these two boys, then men, clearly care the world about each other, but they have issues with pursuing what could be. Jack is always trying to get them together on a more permanent basis, suggesting they start a ranch together, but Ennis knows what will come of that once townsfolk realize, "Hey, those two ranchers up there on Brokeback, they live together, they ain't married, and they always go to the gen'ral store hand-in-hand." OK, I made the last part up, but you get what I'm sayin. Things would go pear-shaped with a quickness.
That theme of Jack more aggressively pursuing their relationship and Ennis being more resistant is a recurring one. This is one of the points where the movie gets its most realistic touch to me, and it harkens back to my point up there about a gay person's learned homophobia being directed back towards themselves. Ennis is all too aware of society's attitudes towards his particular sexual preference at that time, especially in that part of the country, and so he finds himself hiding, lying -- all the things you do to try and protect your emotional well-being in a similar situation. Jack, however, is much more devil-may-care about it. He chases his feelings more readily and while, yes, he hides it publicly to a degree, Jack is the one more inclined to say "Damn the world." Dont' get me wrong, this is NOT the typical movie/TV situation where people are forced into or manipulated into trysts or relationships, subconsciously saying to the viewing masses, "Hey, this isn't real. This is what happens when a manipulative pervert gets hold of a weak-minded abusee." In fact, it's quite the opposite. Ennis loves Jack furiously, he's just not comfortable with doing so in ANY public way. The little details of these feelings are shown so true-to-life, with Ennis breaking from Jack's kiss at one point to look over his shoulder and make sure no one sees them. It's painful.
This movie touched on so many stories that I've heard from so many gay friends, or on situations that I've seen them in, that I could not separate myself from it as 'fantasy.' It was just too real. I cracked completely towards the end, as their relationship got more complicated, and then finally, when it ended, I could take it no more and wept. WEPT. Now, granted, EVERYMOTHERFUCKER IN THE THEATRE was weeping at this point, but for me, individually, it was because of the fact that they just couldn't get it together and have what they needed because of their surroundings and circumstances. It was emotionally crippling because it was out of their control.
Let me just touch off on one last concept to this movie that again made me respect everyone involved to the highest degree. Masculinity. These men were NOT feminine. Jack was a rodeo'er. They were both cowboys. They loved hunting and drinking and smoking. They got into fistfights, both with each other and with strangers. (Ennis far moreso than Jack, and I contend that it was because he was so much more repressed.) Their physical interaction was also quite "manly," which I thought was important to solidify this idea of gay men still being "men." They wrestled and shoved each other around, their kissing and sexuality were very rough and butch, even their language was tinted with male energy. It has LONG pissed me off that I go to a movie and a motherfucker gotta be all queeny. Then I go out with friends or go to work and gay dudes are more butch than I am -- bettin on the horses, drinkin whiskey, going to fight clubs, ridin motorcycles that could throw an elephant... That was a key concept to my anticipation for this movie, frankly, was that FINALLY, mainstream movies were treading on sacred ground -- the cowboy. The toughest, roughest motherfuckers around.
Finally, I realize that I'm not the target market for shock value in this movie. I was raised by a New Yorker, I've lived in San Francisco for 15 years, I have been to gay clubs, gay bars and gay parties, I have gay friends and workmates galore, and yeah, the old Lunger might even have a gay person or two in his family. So for me, a lot of it was everyday stuff. However, I am not a stupid person, and I know that I am far from the majority. Lots and lots of people are going to be shocked by the frankness and openness of it all. And you know what? That's a good thing.
I asked Mrs. Lung to contribute some stuff to this review, but she still can't talk about the movie coherently. She drifts off into streamofconsciousness and cries and there's a lot of "wow"s in there. She was moved even moreso than I.
Oscar nominations abound for this movie, and here are the ones I hope it gets (keep in mind that I haven't seen all the nominees in all the categories, so my choices are well-biased)...
BEST ACTOR - Heath Ledger - He fucking OWNED this movie. His emotional range (within the confines of the character of Ennis) was perfect, his Aussie accent was non-existent, replaced with a cowboys' muted drawl, his physicality was unendingly believable, he was simply perfect.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR - Jake Gyllenhaal - Again, the emotion, the believability, everything was prevalent in his portrayal of Jack. My one point of contention was that as he aged over the years, he retained a little too much kid-ness. Though his bravery in taking this role (as with Heath Ledger) needs to be acknowledged.
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY - Holy SHIT! This movie was sweeping and grand and rich in every scene on the mountain, and drab and dusty and gray in every scene in town. This immediately took you to the place you were supposed to be -- freedom on the mountain, prison outside of it. Amazing.
BEST DIRECTOR - Ang Lee - He deserves to be recognized for his bravery and for his ability to tell this story in the way the masses need to see it.
BEST PICTURE - This is where my lack of having seen the others will come into play, for all I know, "Capote" or "Good Night, and Good Luck" are superior films. But again, this movie goes beyond being an amazing piece of film and begins to tread on being a turning point in not only American cinema, but in American worldview as well.
10/10 Clanks.
IronLung out.
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DOOM
17/02/06
INSTRUCTIONS:
1] Print the following image.

2] Cut out cards along dotted lines.
3] Shuffle.
3] Kill off characters in the order that you draw them from the shuffled pile.
Now that we've got the first 40 minutes out of the way, we move on to the one thing that was fucking AWESOME about "Doom," the 5-minute first-person shooter sequence. Pretty much the whole movie was just a lead-up to this scene, which was straight out of the video game, with Karl Urban's character 'Reaper' as the game's character.
Now, I stopped playing "Doom" in like '95, so I wasn't much out of the first gen of the game -- crappy graphics and all -- and I know it's still around, much more detailed and so on, but even I, with my limited knowledge, was really impressed at how much like the game it was. They even got into the alternate weapons that you could use, like the chainsaw, a knife, and your fists. They highlighted changing out magazines (even once while the character was backing up, just like I used to do in the game), and in one fucking killer scene, they even killed the character off and resurrected him. (There was a spoilerish moment in the movie where they explain this, which I won't get into, but it was cool that they did, because it allowed them to have this scene.)
So if you do Netflix this, don't bother with that "Play" button in the menu. Go directly to the last 4 scenes in the "Scenes" menu, choose the one titled "Get in the game" or "Game on" or something like that, watch to the end of the first-person shooter scene, then return it.
I'm not saying that there was nothing of value in the rest of the movie, in fact, they went to great pains to explain how and why everything was as it was, and the travel method to Mars (where most of the film took place) was only marginally lame. They also tried really hard to make lots of the settings seem right out of the game, even down to the zero-grav mechanisms which floated the weapons that you would pick up throughout the game. So in fact, it had much more attention to detail than most of these types of schlocky action flicks. It's just that I'm not gonna kid you -- the movie succeeds ONLY on that one scene.
4/10 Clanks for the whole movie.
8/10 Clanks for the first-person shooter sequence by itself.
IronLung out.
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24: Season 5: Ep 8
16/02/06
Kim didn't return.
Logan continues to be great in his ineffectual tell-me-what-to-do-ness. I loved him trying to push off the decision of whether to allow the gas to be released in the mall. It was too perfect.
Despite not wanting it to happen, Mike Novak is looking more and more suspicious, and I think it could be very interesting to see how that develops.
Now, beyond the general malaise, some not so highlights:
The thing that killed me the most was a little detail – the not quite smooth sliding action of the nerve gas canister valves. Allegedly these are super sophisticated and insanely deadly, yet the release mechanism jerks open and closed like I'd expect to see in a bad fan film.
The whole mall scenario seemed completely pointless and unnecessary. While I appreciated that there was a hard decision made to release the gas, it was just another opportunity for MoralJack to step in and cause problems.
I don't know whether I love Martha's character or hate her. She has swung completely from insane to competent to petulant and indignant. I liked it before getting to petulant and indignant, but maybe it sets the stage for more mental questioning later.
Why would CTU drive up in identical black vans only seconds after the guy they're following arrives. Of course they're being watched, of course there's no one there. Not too professional, and therefore unbelievable and annoying.
Unquestioning loyalty…"You know what to do." I'm always torn by this, and I suppose I just can't imagine myself being in that situation. It was well done, and I appreciate the strength of it, but…
6 whirrs…
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