For the 9-to-5 chimp who has everything...



http://www.perpetualkid.com/index.asp?P ... rodID=1669

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Astonishing X-Men #15

Written by: Joss Whedon

Art by: John Cassaday



In a surprisingly easy maneuver, the Hellfire Club effectively wipe out the X-Men. Emma puts Scott into a waking coma by bringing up his past secret that he never tried to control his optic blasts, depowering him. Cassandra Nova devolves Hank back to his primal beast persona, then turns Wolverine into a frightened child. The white goth chick, who apparently is named Nagasonic Teenage Warhead (?!?), makes Kitty's phasing abilities take her down to what looks like almost the Earth's core. And Sebastian Shaw pummels Colossus after building up his kinetic strength after getting a pounding by Piotr.

At the S.W.O.R.D. spacestation, Danger confronts Ord about forming an alliance.

While the Hellfire Club discusses their end game, below, Kitty stops phasing and regroups. In a great homage to Wolverine setting out for revenge against the original Hellfire Club in The Dark Phoenix Saga, Kitty states that now it's her turn.



A really great issue. I was surprised to see the X-Men taken out so quickly, but when you consider the Hellfire Club has been planning this for quite some time, it made sense. I can't help to think though, that Emma getting in Cyke's head might lead to stopping the Hellfire Club, not helping them. If Cyclops can control his powers, that would be a major deal. Seeing Wolverine cowar from a truly frightening Beast, was priceless! That cover to issue #17 makes sense now! Goes to show that Beast is a pretty big badass when he needs to be, too. Emma's acting kinda had me thinking though. I think we start to see that she might not want to be part of this new Hellfire Club afterall. But was she ever with them is the question. And the whole Kitty stuff at the end was terrific. The only problem is, who's gonna help her? With the way the team was laid to waste, she's gonna need some major league back-up to help her. She might act like she is, but in the end, she's no Wolverine. I doubt she can fight this fight alone.

We'll see what Whedon has planned. So far, he's been just truly amazing. While the "Danger" arc wasn't fantastic, it looks like there might be more to it afterall. I'll put a lot of faith in Joss' abilities. He's one smart cookie. And of course, it goes without saying that John Cassaday's art is superb. The only thing I've seen him draw that I don't like is his Phoenix. Highly ironic, since she's my fav. Maybe it's because it was really just Emma pretending to be her. And Emma's a bitch. But maybe she'll change my mind about her by the time Whedon's done.



I give this ish 7/10.

I would've given it a higher mark, but it was too short. Left me wanting more, now! Two months is too long!!

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2. Astonishing X-Men #16
3. Astonishing X-Men #2

EW's Dalton Ross spends his summer break from Lost sitting around reviewing wierd-ass old shows that have been pressed to DVD by some guy in Queens or wherever...



This week: Lancelot Link: Secret Chimp



"A bizarre spy spoof for the ages, ABC series Lancelot Link: Secret Chimp, featured a secret agent who by day took on bad guys named Dr. Strangemind and Wang Fu, and by night rocked out in a psychedelic band named the Evolution Revolution. Oh, and the show was acted out entirely by chimpanzees — chimps wearing wigs and monocles, chimps playing tennis and golf, and chimps communicating by two-way cookie radio. In a word: bananas. EXTRAS You can check out all the band's performances in a series of music videos — the chimp drummer isn't half bad, actually."

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So I was in the tattoo shop about two weeks ago, and I hear this rockabilly track come on, in which part of the chorus was "thank you Jack Daniels, Old Number 7 ... Tennessee whiskey got me drinkin in heaven..." LOVE. So I ask the intern what the name of the band is (The Devil Makes Three), and I go to their site and listen to some tracks. LOVE. Promptly, I order their self-titled album.



They're all from the Northeast (Vermont and New Hampshire), but made their way through Texas before coming out of Santa Cruz, CA. They play rockabilly tracks, though they're labelled as "Country." I like just about every single track on their album, but in fairness, as with a lot of rockabilly, their songs each sound very similar. This is allright if you like the genre, cause it flows all together into one giant boom-chicka bounce.



Oh, and the grrl plays stand-up bass. HOT.



The Devil Makes Three website

The Devil Makes Three's MySpace page



8/10 Clanks!

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Okay, technically I think it's 'monkey-rate', but that looks weird in print. Should we be teaching these skills to chimps?



http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/125163/





Depending on your browser, you might need to download a plug-in.

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52#1

Writers: Johns/ Morrison/ Rucka/ Waid

Artists: Giffen/ Bennett



We open as the Multi-infinit-whatsis universe soup flips out and shatters and merges and something and suddenly, it's the day after, and life goes on... minus the Pantheon: Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman are MIA, and the rest of the DCU is rebuilding after the events of the Infinity Crisis mini-series. Booster Gold is in overdrive, picking up sponsors and playing hero. Renee Montoya is spending her free time, now that she quit the GCPD, sipping on gin and juice, minus juice... make that whiskey (brown liquor makes her MEAN) and the Question has commandeered the Bat-signal, and has got his non-eye on HER. Mad scientist doctor types are having issues, Steel repossesses his armor from his daughter, which really sucks, like having the car taken away from you before a big date. Ralph Dibny is SO not over Sue's death, lets not forget Black Adam, who just became One Man Army for his homeland, Khandaq.



It's really hard to pinpoint where one writer ends another begins. I figured that they are each taking on dialog of specific characters, and co-plotting storylines, but I can't locate what goes where. I heard something tantalizing about Morrison, but I forgot it. Anyway, while I normally don't like collective creator books like this, 52 is the Plato's Cave exemaple of how to do it. When you can't detect where one voice ends and another begins, the project has successfully tapped the film and TV screenwriting well where collaborative teams ultimately bring stories to the screen, for better or worse. The is an example of better. I'm very impressed by the tone of 52. It feels like September 12th, and not just because of the obvious reconstruction and recovery imagery parallels here. There's a sense of time, that the IC events JUST happened, and that Identity Crisis was not long ago, either. I really love continuity, and this is all about continuity. It's confusing that people on the ground perceive the recent events as the "infinite Crisis' so to speak, which feels contrived by the editors, but I can understand them obviously knowing SOMETHING was going on, even if they ARE all smooshed together from different universes... they all shared the common ultra-tacky experience of giant Luthor hands fiddle-faddling with their cumulus cloud's naughty bits. But I think the story would be just a tad more cohesive if we saw some dialog implying that people who were supposedly lifelong friends or whatever are awkwardly unfamiliar or getting deja vu or something... it IS a jigsaw universe now.



Giffen's doing breakdowns, and Bennett is doing finishes. Normally, not my thing, but it's working for them, at least in my eyes, largely because Giffen is a very gifted thumbnailer, and I'm not familiar enough with Bennett's work to know the difference. Covers are by the fantabulous JG Jones.



A point about the details... there's tons and tons of them, and not being so much a DC guy, I know I'm missing most of the vaunted "details on every page" clue-dropping. One thing I DID notice was that Clark Kent, present at Booster's big Superboy memorial event (the first time we detect that Booster's future database is no longer accurate...obviously... but well played) is dealing with a bloody nose. I didn't even think about it the first read-through. De-powered Supes?



The plot is presented in my favorite storytelling style: "Now back to Bullit, already in progress..." We're led to slowly gel with the story as we go, but initially, we don't know how the stage has been set. It's great. Learn as you read. It's not easy to do. I know I'm butchering it on Finit-e.



Favorite scene of this issue: Booster forcing tears to look more sympathetic at the loss of Superboy. Tear! I love LOVE how their writing Booster Gold, here.



8/10 Clicks



Yes, I WILL review each issue...



Update:

For each issue, I've decided to post the panels which most impressed me. More than many superhero books on the stands today, they'r doing a good job of giving us these little micro-reveals or money shots each issue. It's particularly effective storytelling for guys like me tha haven't read every issue of every IC related book, so some of these "what the!" panels really do surprise me. That said, sometimes, they're just cool panels.



For 52 #1, It was a tie:







This panel captures Booster's return to super-shill... but adds the interesting twist of super-CON as well. Love it. Tear!









And here, the previously mentioned bloody Clark. Hint hint!

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Superman/Batman #27

a.k.a. Superbreasts/Batboobs #69

Written by: Tits McGee

Art by: Chesty LaRue



This issue, 2 words: BIG TITS. I think some stuff happens and people even possibly talk. There's even a chance there's some fighting involved too. I'm not really sure. All I know is there's huge freakin' knockers on every page! I hear Mark Verheiden's script sucked really bad. But Kevin Maguire is my new hero. Three cheers for Kevin Maguire!! Hip-hip-boobie! Hip-hip-boobie! Hip-hip-boobie!! And what a cover by new ongoing artist Ethan Van Sciver. Too bad when he takes over next issue that there'll be a significant amount less of female cast members. Oh well, at least we have this "well-rounded" issue to keep us happy!



I give this ish 38-24-36 SNIKTS way UP!



*I'll probably get around to a real review later, probably of the new issue of Astonishing X-Men, but I couldn't pass up this opportunity.

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I recently read a partial transcript and summary of the last podcast by producers Cuse and Lendelof (they've issued one after each ep all season) which included some tidbits I thought I'd share:



1. Statuery: The monolithic statue-ruin witnessed in the finale, shown above, is supposed to be about 60ft. tall. Sure, the toes part is creepy as fuck... but the purpose of the statue is to plant the dual seeds that a) the island's long history of wierdness predates the DHARMA initiative and b) archeology will become important. It's certainly hard not to figure this plays well into the tessaract/alt. dimension thing, and there are more than a little Twilight Zone vibes going on here (the human ant farm episode) but for now, that's all we get.





2. Portuguesery: It was indeed Portuguese that th eresearcher was speaking in the epilogue, and no, it wasn't Matthew Fox. WHo thought that?!



3. Throbbery: The electromagnetic anomaly allowed the island to become visible for that brief period to Penny Widmore and the men working for her and searching for it. The island was also visible on September 22, 2004, the date of the plane crash and the last time that a system failure occurred. This suggests that the anomaly is opening a gateway to our world, to me, not so much as uncovering a hidden existence. But hey.



4. Smokery: Lindelof addresses the monster directly: "There's a good chance that you guys saw the Monster this year, but just didn't realize you were looking at the Monster ... By the end of next year, you will understand what that means." He did NOT call it Cerberus, and he didn't speak about the creature's sub-conscious and memory mining, and whether or not it's a living or mechanical construct.



5. Plannery: A detail I found very reassuring and interesting, Linelof says that, contrary to rumors that the writers smoke doobies and make shit up as they go along, that the rule for the scripts is that when something new is introduced, they already have to work out what it means and how it's connected... and how it's resolved. He used the example of finding the hatch in Season 1... they plotted out the eventual access to the hatch, the room within, Desmond, and the entire DHARMA program... all the way back then. I suppose you could be a hater and disbelieve. But I like tot hink that while they ARE developing new details and twists as they go, they do have an overall plan.



6. Plottery: Unlike the immediate internet statements about Season 3 being intended to be more of a focus on relationships, per se, Lindelof and Cuse said that a good portion of the next season will involve not WHERE the Others take Jack, Kate and Sawyer, which will be learned fairly quickly... but WHY. They also said that Desmond is NOT dead and gone. No word on the others with him, though.



Food for thought!

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Directed by Frank Coraci (Hawaiian Dick)

Writing credits Steve Koren (Seinfeld) & Mark O'Keefe (Newsradio)



Okay, not to sound egotistical, but this movie was almost perfectly made for me. It is a bout a “nice guy” named Michael who is letting work get the majority of his time so that he can provide a good life for his family. A lesson that I really needed at this point in my life, because I am putting a hell of a lot of things BEFORE family and friends at the moment. So, take this review with that in mind. I didn’t know that is what this movie was about, but that doesn’t change the fact that it really spoke to me.



Noooooooooooow REVIEW!



I don’t know when those boys at Happy Madison stopped smoking, or if they just changed to a better brand, but whatever it is, it is working. The quality of the films coming out of that brain trust is impressing me more and more. Sure they go for the stupid humor. Sure they make jokes about farts and sex. Sure they are stoned out of their minds. BUT, have you noticed the subject matter they are tackling? Especially the Sandler movies?



Another note about Happy Madison. This organization is becoming more of a troupe of actors than anything else around. If you enter this family, you are going to show up in more and more of the movies in cameos. And often, you add a little bit to the movies that is excellent. Like all the Rob Schnieder appearances. I love his side characters. The newest addition to this is Nick Swardson. Funny guy.



Okay, so Click. You’ve seen “A Christmas Carol”? Then you know the overall plot. The only difference is that the main character is just an oppressed schmo who just wants his family to have a good life, has a TOOL for a boss (The “Ooga Chaka”Hoff), and a smoking hot wife (Kate “Sweet baby Jebus, thank you” Beckinsale). NOTE: They actually address that his wife is way out of his league and he was a lucky bastard, aaaaaaaaaannnnnnndddd it is never a point of contention between the couple. They are in love. They fight, they make up. No Ozzie and Harriet crap. He gets a tour of his life, after a sort, by a helpful tech genius (Christopher “Don’t… screw with me,… boy” Walken). And that’s all you get for plot.



As always I will address this movie from more technical aspects in no specific order. I would like to discuss the subject matter (a la script), the look, and the cast.



As I said, the subject matter of this piece is freakishly timely for me. I am getting older and I have noticed that a lot of things are slipping by and I don’t even notice. So, a movie discussing what it means to be alive and look around at what your life is really struck a chord. This movie provided a cautionary tale in the guise of a goofy comedy. But then what is life, if it isn’t a goofy comedy. However, there is more to life than that. There are bad times. And if we just jump to the good pieces and watch the laughs we miss all the meat of the story. And this is a hard lesson to learn. Many folks never learn it. We can’t focus on the end of the road, that promotion, that weekend, that deadline. Life happens all around us, regardless of our intentions. And if we get too focused, well we miss out on some really important things.



This point is NOT beaten into our heads by the film with a blunt object as would be easy to do. It is beaten into us using very important events in life, confusion, and loss. It is a heavy piece, there are points where I felt extremely badly for the main character with whom I share a first name. There was no laughing, but there was an emotional response. As the movie progresses, the events become deeper and more important and the humor fades away into grief and loss, but they are very important feelings to have. Especially, at these points in the film.



Please, do not be discouraged by this. There is a catharsis. We do get to feel good again. As I said, this is a comedy and merely a cautionary tale.



The look of the film is solid. We travel through time seeing the past and the future (relative to us). We get fat suits and fake faces. Some of these are well done, some are a bit freaky. The message is clear though. We see different times in life using the same actors and actresses. You do feel the progression of time, in the look of the actors and their actual movement. The sets get progressively more advanced, but nothing too insane. We get the crazy fashion and the bubble cars. Mostly, these things just set the stage for “FUTURE”.



The remote’s special effects are quite well done, it is like a DVD menu, the ultimate DVD menu. I would have chosen a different color scheme, but then it isn’t MY DVD. The pauses and the fast forewards were quite clear and didn’t look out of place.



The actors are great. Henry “AAAAaaaaaaaaayyyy” Winkler and Julie “Marge Simpson” Kavner are the parents and provide a nice backdrop to Sandlers life and experiences. You see a lot of who he is through his parents and their interactions. Similarly, Beckinsale and the children allow for a home environment where you can see him at his best and worst. The frustration of everyday hassle (hoff)s just wear on him and he takes it out on those closest. On the other hand, when he wins he shares it all with his family. Everything. Oh, the other viscous aspect of the personality comes out in the bratty next door neighbor kid. An interaction I can’t really blame, but recognize as bad. And through all these interactions you get good solid acting. I never feel like people are just saying lines. You see disappointment, elation, anger, frustration, joy. It is wonderful.



I have to mention Sean Astin in a speedo. I don’t want to, but if I didn’t you’d be unprepared.



So for me, this movie was great. I really needed the reality check and I found it in the celluloid. This movie falls into a strange category that I have only found for Albert Brooks’ movies. It has a point, but only if you need to see it or you have passed a certain point in your life were the subject suddenly becomes relevant. I don’t expect this to do well. It isn’t laugh out loud funny the entire way through. You can see where a lot of the story is going before it reaches that point. And it does have some dramatic moments. But for me it was perfect.



10/10 crunches for ME



8/10 crunches if not me (I guess).

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Some great stuff in here... I read a few pages each day. For giggles.



http://b3ta.com/challenge/roadsigns



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