Shaolin Cowboy #6

Created, illustrated & written by Geofrey Darrow

With ass-ologue by the Wachowski Brothers



OK, at this point, our hero, the Shaolin Cowboy, is in some subterrainean soppy bog filled with cadavers and Coke, riding a rigored inverted cow as a barge, wielding a bo staff with twin chainsaws on it, pursued by the besword-skewered skull of his undead, jive-talkin foe, braced within the gaping maw of a massive Great White shark.



Probably the raddest thing you've ever heard, yes?







Here's the problem. I'm over it.



The colors are muddy and muted. The detail is becoming flotsam I barely notice any longer. The narrow subject matter and non-plot has meant six issues of the same guy ass-kicking in the same way, various undead, spooky, ugly thuggies. This consistency works on Mignola's Hellboy specifically because his art's moody extraction allows you to feel a vibe, fill in the detail blanks, and itch to read more. There's no sense of 'happening' happening here. Shaolin is on a continuous, unrelenting, hyper-saturated, over-wraught journey of excess that scarcely surprises the reader out of the stupor of it's tedium. I hate to admit it. I really do. Darrow is one of the hottest artists around, and his style, his detail, frankly, his obsessive complexity and self-amusement, is really second to none. But left up to his own devices, as he frequently is, his weakness grows clear: excessive, violence porn without content or meaning, gore for gore's sake... it's missing that vital spark of variety and interest that makes Quentin Tarantino's work, which is similarly referential and indulgent, engaging in a way this book has become the opposite.



If they can't make me interested with chainsaw bushido against flying sharks... something's WRONG, I say.



4/10 Clicks

Related posts:

1. Shaolin Cowboy #1
2. Shaolin Cowboy #2
3. Shaolin Soccer (Siu lam juk kau)

Leading Man #1

Writer: B. Clay Moore

Artist: Jeremy Haun



Leading Man is the comic project follow-up to Moore and Haun's brilliant Battle Hymn book of last year, which this robot shed a tear for during it's final issue. Here, we move to the present day, for a seemingly straight-forward, True Lies-esque story of a Hollywood blockbuster actor who's film star life is a cover for his work as a secret agent. Borrowing heavily from the primary interesting conceit of Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, (in which the winning contestants on the Newlywed Game were sent to unpleasant, curious locales for their prize trips, chaperoned by Chuck Barris, there to make a meet or perform an assassination,) here Nick's film, like in the Studio System days, financed or orchestrated by the CIA, is shot on location near where he needs to be to do his secret spy stuff. His small company of personal assistants do nothing to squash rumors of his illicit affairs and mysterious Hollywood oddball behavior as a cover for the chance eyewitness spotting him sneaking off into the night. By the end of the first issue, we've met Nick, his beautiful young costar on set with eyes on his drawers, his assistants, and we've seen him in gear, exploring a secret hideout of his target, only to be confronted by his leading lady who has followed him.



To be honest, there's not a lot going on so far. Haun's been given time to establish the tone and setting for the book, which is a good thing. We've had the obligatory action scene, which is revealed to be a filmed cut, and it worked well. We've met the primary characters. We've been given the glimmer of a spy thriller angle by the end of the book. And we've seen how Moore is playing with undercover spy operative conventions in a playful way. Our Nick is a more accomplished actor than spy. His crew is a little rusty. He's overconfident, easily trailed by his co-star spying on HIM, and even when his crew realized she was following him, they barely reacted. It's even mentioned in the dialog how out of practice they are. The central gimmick of the book, that a spy is working cover as an actor, is a weak one, and that's where i think Moore and Haun will have fun with the book. There's no logical reason for such a premise. Let spies be spies, especiallly this flavor of covert operative. We should never see them enter or leave. But if you accept the dual-indentity premise for the fun factor, you can enjoy the det ails in the art and script that show these guys are having fun with an old-school adventure story updated for a contemporary read. Two set production folks are at a table yakkin' about how Nick's sex life must be, and about him sneaking out at night, clearly showing his cover is pretty weak, but the conversation implodes with the cavalier assessment that he's an actor in Hollywood, and they're all freaks and wierdos anyway. Then we close out with the amusing note that one of the two was still using a wheelchair long after her injury healed, because it was more comfortable than the production chairs... good evidence of that skewed Hollywood logic.







Haun's art is wonderful. I've really liked his previous work, and the clean, minimal shots here really work to his strengths. I contend, and suffer with personally at that, that drawing folks cruising around in suits and interacting normally is TOUGH. The sequences of Nick walking off the set, or of his assistant waking up from a nap in the trailer and stretching, are SO GOOD, it makes me a little envious. While he's not the perfect artist, there's enough about Haun's work, especially aided by Dave Bryant's colors, that makes me yearn to achieve the look he makes seem so easy.



In order for this book to sustain itself, the script needs to kick it up a notch. I have faith in Moore's logic, but I want to see it get interesting in a hurry. This first issue was JUST thin enough that it perhaps would have been better suited as a freebie #0 type thing. But assuming they pick up the pace from here, either with spy action or interesting character development, this will be a fun one to follow.



7/10 Clicks

Related posts:

1. Battle hymn #3
2. Review: Detective Comics No. 865
3. Battle Hymn #4

New Avengers #22

Writer: Brian Michael Bendis

Artist: Lienil Francis Yu



Wow..... Luke Cage has never been better. This one issue sums up why Tony Stark is wrong.



The issue takes place just as the superhuman registration act has passed. Tony is trying to get Luke to sign on with his side and Luke and Jessica shoot him down. It's here that I finally find the words to express why the superhuman reg act is wrong. Beyond merely driving foreign powers to build armies of their own super humans it is an act of slavery. Jessica will have to register even though she hasn't been an active hero for years. The Government is telling these people that they "Have" to work for the government. And Luke isn't about to let himself or his family be sold into bondage even if the chains are made of silk and gold.



Luke sends Jessica to Canada (where she has inalienable human rights protected by law thankyouverymuch) and readies himself to make his stand against oppression. He sits in his apartment and does nothing. And it’s not one second after midnight before the brown shirts are at his door ready to haul him in for doing nothing. Fortunately Luke is able to escape thanks to the intervention of not only Captain America and his resistance but also the members of Luke’s community who are willing to stand up and defend one of their own.



Thie was one of the best issues in the Civil war that I’ve read so far.

5 out of 5

Related posts:

1. Young Avengers #1
2. Review: New Avengers No. 61
3. New Avengers #50

Civil War: Front Line #3

Writer: Paul Jenkins

Artist: varies



As much as I love Civil War (about as much as cheddar) I have to admit, the promised 'fair and balanced' look at the issues of the conflict are found in this book. While the anthology format continues to be a mixed bag, the strong stories outweight the lamery, and we see things moving forward in an interesting way. In 'Embedded' both Sally Floyd and Ben Urich are researching their sides of the story by meeting with members of either the anti- or pro-registration camps, respectively. Floyd is blindfolded and delivered to a secret cabal of heroes with an uneasy alliance, comprising a sort of D-List of resistance fighters, unknown capes who refuse to register and who've banded together for self-preservation. This was one of the aspects I was waiting for them to get to in this conflict: when forced into a corner, people organize to protect themselves. It's super-gangs! These guys want to find the rumored resistance movement led by Captain America, but they're so far off the back, they aren't in the know about who or where. So they gather, and hide and wait. And fester. Their points are flawed, but understandable and in character. They echo mostly the liberal sentiment in the news today regarding the Patriot Act and unchallenged surveillance powers of the White House: the analogy is quite clear. Meanwhile, Ben has a great dialog with Reed Richards, who spouts statistics and predictive analysis of vigilante activty as his primary motive for championing the registration act. It's wonderful. His faith in the data supercedes the common sense, which Urich alludes to in a metaphor about sport statistics, that registering heroes won't necessarily change his calculations, and they exclude the previous public perception of the value of anonymous heroes who don't have to fear the authorities when risking their lives to save the day. Richards' assetion seems to be that anonymity forbids an easy identification of friend or foe. Real-world politics and subversive war practice proves this erroneous. But it's awesome to watch his cluelessness. Jenkins captures both his and Urich's character traits SO well... and it's an important note that both camps being interviewed use flawed logic. There are much better arguments for each position, going unspoken, which is quite realistic. Both camps are speaking to their emotional or myopic interpretations, not a worldview opinion that shows wisdom.



'Accused' is the standout here, continuing Speedball's prison crisis, as Lieber deftly takes another page out of the Lark/Gaydos playbook by rendiering excellent, realistic, nuanced pages that would be talking heads for another artist. It's a great segment. Speedball, who Quesada continuously joked would die this year, proves ever more to be the most sympathetic, bad ass, morally righteous character we've seen (excepting Cap's helicarrier hurtle in Civil War #1) and I love how Marvel perpetuated the perception that Speedball was this grade-C dingdong idiot character, then positioned him to be the one we like the most. He's not taking the beat-downs and rapes and what not in prison any longer, he's not cutting deals with the feds, and he's not even begun to resist. Points for the sexiest She-Hulk in years (no small part due to her persona as the lawer here, complete with power suit) and man, I'm just wishing I could read more of this thread... it's ALMOST more interesting than Daredevil in prison in his own comic.



The latter two stories are weak. One involves a guy who may be a sleeper cell soldier for an Atlantean invasion force (that's my guess anyway) and the other is another ill-conceived marriage of 9-11/Civil War imagery fused with WWI poetry. Ick!



8/10 Clicks

Related posts:

1. Civil War: Front Line #1
2. Civil War: Front Line #9
3. Civil War #4

JL of A #0

Writer: Brad Meltzer

Artist: Varies



Boy, was I hesitant to open this issue. You see, I don't like Ed Benes' art all that much, personally. That studio's style over the years impressed me even less than Mark Silvestri's and Jim Lee's, the Image boys they mimic. I also don't like Michael Turner's work, either. His covers for Identity Crisis so turned me off that even though I really liked the series, when I look back, allI can think about are the cheesy pin-up covers (with the exception of the wierd hanging super-gear, that was cool and wierd and wrong)...so going in, I'm thinking about how disappointed I am that the JL of A book is being put together by a writer I like and an art team I have trouble enjoying.



After reading this, I'm even more agitated than when I started. Because it just reinforces what a damn waste it's going to be to have Meltzer's scripts butchered by this team. I'm sorry to have to put it that way, but Brad Meltzer deserved something more sophisticated... like Steve McNiven had Marvel not so cannily snatched him up for THEIR book of the year!



The plot is a loose review of the Big Three, dealing with each other and the creation and management and evolution of the League, as told in a series of jump cut pages from the past, present and future. Meltzer tells a personal story here, a seemingly random sampling of events in their collective history that is presented so well that you learn more about them and their relationships to each other than you do in countless similar endeavors, from the dreadful DCU History backups in 52 to the Superman/Batman book. This reads like something on the level of Kingdom Come, and I found myself pulled in two directions as I read: love of the disjointed yet meaninfgul script, and frustration with the shared art gimmick which served to mark several wrongs at once: makes the comparisons between artists inevitable, shatters the pacing of the story, pulls the reader out of the suspension of disbelief Meltzer is crafting, and most of all, reminds me about Ed Benes again.



Best script detail: The reference to having to 'let go' of the League, leaving it in the hands of other capable, if inexperienced, leaders, as a way of explaining how we have so much JLA history without the Big Three that are now so synonymous again with the team. Making it an evolutionary thing. Runner-up: the laughable reference to JLA: Detroit as the headquarters of the League during the unfortunate days.



Worst script detail: "I don't get nervous anymore...[but] I feel sweat collecting in my gloves." I don't care what you're trying to accomplish in the post-Crisis rehumanizing of Batman... he doesn't sweat in his gloves, and if he does, it's because the air conditioning failed, and even then, he doesn't talk about it. And he doesn't THINK about it. It was grossly out of character for me.



Artwise, the mish-mash of different artists forced, as I mentioned, a comparison between them all that was unfavorable to most, even accomplished artists in their own right. Not surprisingly, the stand-outs were Gene Ha, JH Williams III ont he good side, and Kevin Maguire's Bwa-ha stuff and Benes' freakishly uninteresting work that tolls gloomy for the future of the book. A note about Maguire: while the dialog and events portrayed here were actually quite amusing, it was nonetheless surreal and wrong to see the Big Three drawn this way, laughing it up. I can handle them smiling and getting all condescendingly 'ah, look at the kids all grown up'-ing it int he pews at weddings etc but come on... Batman simulating his own Green Lantern punch-out? I will say that I LOVED the idea of the faxed photo.



There's some confusion about whether the 'future' scenes are hints of plots to come, or merely possibilities. At least one looks to be the death of one of the three, so we'll have to assume the latter, unless it's some old-school "One of Them Must DIE!!!" silver age cover stunts. I did appreciate that Meltzer dealt with both the loose comic-time issue and the aspect of their history being squished by Crisis crap, by merely noting 'yesterday' instead of specific dates. That was clever.



My last comment: as a hater (not Lung level, but close) of the Btman and Robin concept, I was delighted to catch a reference to Batman looking at Robin and thinking: "carnie". HAHAHAHA.



10/10 Clicks for writing

6/10 Clicks for art....

Related posts:

1. JL of A # 07 – 09
2. Infinite Crisis Mega-Review: JLA- Crisis of Conscience
3. Infinite Crisis #2

New X-Men #28

Written by: Craig Kyle and Chris Yost

Drawn by: Paco Medina



So we finally find out if Josh Guthrie was killed. Yup. Another student dead from Stryker's crusade. Iron Man and Ms. Marvel are present when Josh is identified. Carol Danvers says that she'll tell the X-Men that one of their own was murdered.

At the Institute, the O*N*E* continue to clean up the aftermath of last issue's battle. Cyclops has the Cuckoos try to locate Josh, but is called away when Ms. Marvel shows up.

Carol tells Scott what happened, with the students evesdropping outside Scott's door. The kids are in shock. Emma tells them to go back to their rooms, and heads into Scott's office.

Inside Emma confronts Carol about the true reason she was there--to get the X-Men to sign the Registration Act. Emma gives the same speech to Carol as she did to Iron Man about them not joining his side. She shows Carol through her telepathy the after effects of the recent losses to the school, and how they've effected everyone. She asks Carol where the Avengers were during all this. Why weren't they there to help innocent children. Emma tells Carol to shove her crusade. Scott escorts Carol out. Emma then breaks down in tears.

Finally, Nimrod tells Forge that if he doesn't help him, he'll teleport to Wakanda and kill Storm.



A real emotionally powerful issue. If Civil War does anything, it looks like it'll make me like Emma Frost. Damn them! But you just have to really feel for her. She's tried and tried to teach her students, and they just keep dying on her. From her original Hellions, to Synch from Gen X, to these current students, death follows her.

It was a neat touch to tie the events into CW into this. Most of these major event cross-overs only seem to be mentioned when the book is an actual advertised tie-in. Marvel's done a good job of making it an important topic in ALL of their books.

I think the confrontation between Emma and Ms. Marvel was even better than the one she had with Stark. Even though slighty similar, this one was more powerful. It really showed Emma's feelings.

The only drawback was Nimrod. This arc is entitled "Nimrod," but we only get him for 3 pages! I need more! Hopefully it'll pick up next ish with him right away.

I'm also glad that Paco Medina's still here. His style has become the true look for this book. Keep him here Marvel!

Put this series in league with the newly awesome X-Men, Uncanny, and always has been awesome Astonishing. A definite must-read!



I give this ish 9/10 SNIKTS

Related posts:

1. New X-Men #27
2. Uncanny X-Men #446
3. Wolverine #46

Civil War #3

Written by: Mark Millar

Drawn by: Steve McNiven



We begin with Iron Man's team trying to recruit more members for the Registration Act. Reed Richards tries to get Black Panther, who tells him he'd rather not get involved in the U.S.'s affairs. Yellowjacket and Wasp try to recruit Dr. Strange, who Wong tells them has gone into seclusion to fast for 40 nights. Tony Stark tries to get the X-Men to join, and Emma Frost bluntly tells him to go take a leap (my words).

Jump to a diner where Cap, Hercules, DD, and Goliath are discussing their new secret identities that Nick Fury came up for them. Suddenly they get a message that there's been a fire at a petrochemical plant nearby.

Cap's team gets to the plant to find it on fire, but empty. Cable notices a sign that says the plant is a division of Stark Industries. He realizes it's a trap. But before they can leave, Wiccan and Cloak are hit my tranq darts, courtesy of Iron Man's team, who's just shown up.

Iron Man tells Cap he's here to offer him one last chance at amnesty. Cap refuses to surrender. Tony pleads with Cap to give him a chance to tell him his plans. Cap agrees, and tells him he's got 5 minutes. Cap shakes Stark's hand. But when Tony pulls his hand back, he notices a device on it. An electron-scrambler Cap tells him as it goes off, short circuiting Iron Man's armor. And we're off!

We finally get the big team vs. team brawl. Big character battles big character with Yellowjacket growing to fight Goliath and Atlas takes on Stature. Thing pummels Hulkling, Spidey fights Patriot, Luke Cage battles Ms. Marvel, Wonder Man tackles Hercules, Cable pounds Radioactive Man. It's a HUGE epic brawl. Spidey goes after Cap, trying to get him to see the light. Finally Iron Man's armor reboots itself, and Tony heads straight for Cap. And then proceeds to beat the living shit out of him! Cap is woefully undermatched in this case. Hercules throws his opponents to the side to charge to Cap's rescue, but is stopped before he can help by---wait for it---keep waiting---"Codename Lightning" himself, THOR!!!



Whew!! Holy shit! What a fucking issue! I'm now officially calling this book Civil Fucking War! My God, I wish I didn't have to wait a month between issues. It's not fair. I don't need to tell you that Millar's script is superb, or McNiven is an artistic God, you already know that. What I will tell you is that this series keeps hitting you with surprise after surprise. I figured Thor would be coming back, but as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent?? Damn. THAT was a shock. I really don't see how Cap's team will win. If Sentry is on the same side as Thor, then who could possibly stop Iron Man's team? Thank God Punisher's joing Cap's team, whether he wants him to or not!

The dialogue between Stark's team and the people they wanted to join was fabulous. They basically told them to fuck off. Emma really was the closest to using expletives that I'm more than happy to use for her. The part where Tony said that they used to be "fuck buddies"--AWESOME! I knew she was a whore! This proved it.

The battle itself was everything I hoped, albeit a bit short. Of course it's continuing next issue, so I won't bitch. I didn't think Cap would've been taken down so easily by Iron Man mind you. I know Cap had been beat up by Spidey and what-not, but still. I guess Iron Man is hardcore!

But Thor showing up--wow! How awesome was that!?! I just never expected him to be aligned with S.H.I.E.L.D. already. Can't wait to see how this plays out.

So now we gotta wait a month to see who dies, who's the traitor, and which team is reborn. Any predictions? Mine, in order--Mary Jane, Sue Richards, and the Fantastic Four.



I give this ish 10/10 SNIKTS

Related posts:

1. Thor #3
2. Civil War #2–Major SPOILERS ahead!!!
3. Civil War #4

This one comes to you courtesy of Heritage, who's post follows it. My Iron Man fanstasy casting was finished with the exception of one character, and was languishing in R3 Post purgatory, so Heritage kicked my butt into gear to finish it and post it up. Let me know what you think, IM fans!



But I have to warn you... I'm going in a younger, more stylized direction here...







Justin Theroux's career so far has been playing nutters and really ripped meanies... but ever since I saw him on Six Feet Under playing a somewhat introspective, intelligent dude, the very day after seeing him with a rippled physique and bad ass presence in Charlies Angels Full Throttle, I knew he was my Stark. Not the Cary Grant rip-off, not the faux Bond, but a brilliant, young, wry, conflicted man.









I wanted a younger, edgier Rhodey, a guy who you could see as loyal, but flushed with pride, easily swayed by the power of the armor. I wanted the glimmer of challenge in his eyes.









Of all of Tony's conquests and affairs and what not, I was always most partial to the implications of his hook-ups with Happy Hogan's lovely, freckled wife, Pepper Potts, Stark's secretary. Maybe it's the redhead thing, or the secretary thing, I dunno. But Howard is perfect for it, and I want her. For the role.









Another challenging selection. Happy was supposed to be an ex-boxer, a bruiser type with blind loyalty to Stark. I liked the idea that he might have a darker leaning towards the mean streets, had Stark not given him a better path, a legitimacy that JUST might obligate Happy from ignoring the connection between Tony and Pepper. Rooker's my man.









Obadiah was one of my last minute changes, since re-booting this Fantasy Film Casting... I had originally thought of Patrick Stewart in this role, not only for the head, but the menace he can bring when he wants to be subtle. But after X3, I decided we needed something a little different here. I always liked Pileggi's menace and calm, when he wasn't overdoing the behind-the-hand grimacing on X-Files.









OK, I know this is a random character, but I liked the fact that Stark was rockin the world of a computer geek for once, instead of a supermodel, while rebuilding his armor and running Circuits Maximus while RHodey was off with the red and gold armor. I was thinking about actresses that can play geeky and sexy at the same time. Peet can, and does.









Rumiko was Tony's most aggressive, independent lover, and she was a young, wealthy Japanese heiress too. Zi is a newcomer to Western Cinema, but may be in ANg Lee's next film, a spy thriller, and I liked her eyes.









Madame Masque is supposed to be of a different nationality, but we never see her face anyway. I liked Kamano's physique and hair, so I was sold on it.









Perhaps my best known cast selection, Michelle Yeoh is a bad ass martial artist, who can be both sexy and incredibly nimble. I liked the idea that Viper might be older and more experienced than Stark.









Finally, probably my most random selection: BD Wong, of Law & Order, as The Mandarin. WTF! I initially wanted Ken Watanabe for this, but Batman Begins turned his Ras al Ghul INTO the Mandarin, so that was too obvious. Then I got to thinking how my vsion of Stark was as a smooooth operator, but also a brilliantly calculating guy... and I liked the idea that my Mandarin could be the same. Younthful in appearance, but deceptively older, more experienced, and cunning. A conceptual Bad Twin for Stark.



So there you go... my belated Iron Man casting...



:::

And here was the post that got me motivated to finish and post this...

From Heritage, a vote for Timothy Dalton as Stark!







"I'm surprised this hasn't been brought up yet, what with WR's known passion on the subject; technically, I know very little about Mr. Stark or his rogues' gallery, but I'm interested to see what other people think. I think in his prime, Timothy Dalton would have made a great Stark - just look at him as Neville Sinclair in The Rocketeer! And if I could get my computer to work right, there'd be a picture here! (grrr)



I don't have a pick out of the current crop; maybe Matt Damon, but that's not an educated choice."

Related posts:

1. Watchmen- R3 Fantasy Film
2. Review: Invincible Iron Man No.11
3. Review: Invincible Iron Man No.11

X-Men #188

Writer: Mike Carey

Artist: Chris Bachalo



I've ben waiting to write this review for a long time. I didn't know it would be THIS book, with THIS creative team, but here it is.



Welcome to the first 'normal' X-Men book that reads up to it's potential since Claremont and Smith's high water mark in the early 80's*. Sure, we've had several outstanding spurts of creativity and excitement, in my personal opinion epitomized by Grant Morrison's brain-bursting re-imagining of the X-Men vibe... but this book in my hands is the first issue of the regular X-books that reads witht he same interest, cool factor, suspense and adventure that those early issues did that ushered in my love affair with comics when I was 9 years old. Sure, I read comics before that, already had my How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way, was familiar with most of the Marvel U at that point... but it was the X-Men issues of the low one seventies, especially my single favorite, X-Men #172, that hooked me on the X-Men. And this book here captures that juice. And I'm totally surprised.



Mike Carey is a writer with whom I'm generally unfamiliar. His Lucifer series was well-reviewed back int he day, and I've read that he's done nice things on Ultimate FF, but I had no sense of him when it was announced he was joining the X-books, other than that I was disappointed to read he was going to enjoy the misfortune of being saddled up with Chris Bachalo, meaning that his scripts might not be given mich of a chance, of they were at all obtuse, since Bachalo's page work the last several years has bordered on illegibility. I mean, Bachalo's made even Claremont's contemporary scripts seem worse than they were. But OK, baggage duly notes: unfamiliar writer and my pre-conceived irritation with the colossally underpotentialled Bachalo.



This issue starts off with a cut scene in a small Mexican town, where a man is running from unseen pursuers. He blows off a street-begging family, and enters a bar, where he collects some documentation, supplies and details of his escape plan as arranged by a local fixer, who, in his wake, buys a drink for the bartender and toasts the experience, saying that he's never seen that man scared, so they might as well drink to it, because it might never happen again. The fleeing stranger? Sabertooth. Wounded, nervous, and on the run.



The X-Men are busy busting up a Black Lab operated by the Omega Men, for gene splicing experiments and the like. They rescue both the comatose form of Lady Deathstrike, and the body of a former sentient Sentinel. Back at the ranch, Professor X lectures Scott on Rogue's aggressive actions in the field, but is rebuffed. Further, Summers commends Rogue for quick thinking, and champions her for leadership of a new Fast Response Team, in other words, the away team, untethered to the duties of running the school. And after being pursied and attacked and pursued again, Sabretooth arrives at the mansion looking for safe harbor. In the final scene, the Mexican town is decimated (by one of Sabertooth's pursuers) and the blame is cast on live television: The X-Men.



This was successful on so many levels, thanks almost entirely to Mike Carey's script. The woman and child that Sabertooth brushes off in the prolog, become a critical component of the plot's cliffhanger in the epilogue. Sabertooth's arrival at the mansion mirrors that of Rogue's in that special arc of X-Men I read so many years ago, and meets reistance from.... ROgue, of course. And Rogue herself is handled possibly the best she's been in years. COnfident, a little morose, edgy and skilled, without the aw sugahs and the big hair and whining. She's bad ass with a badge here. She also exhibits the first of several interesting explorations of the known powers of the group in this issue, by tasting of both Cyclops and Emma Frost, then using these new gifts to fire optic blasts into a diamond prism of her own hand, striking down all of her foes at once. It's a dodgy side-step of physics, but it showed ingenuity, on both her part, and that of Carey's. Similarly, we later see Cannonball take advantage of the nearby Sentinel's armored shell as a carom surface, recocheting back to Sabertooth and snatching his hostage away from him. ANd let's not forget the brilliance of Sabertooth actually bringing that hostage to a safe harbor request!



The dialog is sharp, edgy and adventurous, much like the action, espcially that of Beast, Cannonball, Sabertooth and frankly, the newly empowered Scott Summers, finally taking charge. And the subtlety of using the little girl in the epilogue to recreate some of the awe of similar seens in films like Signs and ID4 was brilliant. I give maximum points for the concept of a singulairty bomb in the first place.







Bachalo's art starts very rough. In fact, this panel actually illicited a verbal complaint (to no one, as wifebot(tm) was ipoddin' it and ignoring me) complaining that if THIS was what constituted acceptable sequential art at Marvel, than I'm too hard on myself on FInit-e. Look it 'Cyclops' in the background!





[thumbed due to size]



But then later, some of the original inspired panels came back, which reminded me of Bachalo's early days when his design concepts weren't overrun by his almost acid-trip quality jumbled compositions. The scene where we see the result of Rogue's multi-laser trick was extremely well crafted to give us a sense of scale.







Later, this simple panel showing the source of the off-panel noise we read from the page before (great pacing again, Carey) pulls off the first in-scale sense of the Sentinels' size I've seen in YEARS of Sentinel mismanagement. It's awesome. Very effective.



So, an't wait to see this continue. I can't believe I read an X-book and immediately wanted to write a positive review. Stunned.



PS odd that the rest of the team's line-up is shown on the cover, despite us not meeting them in the book. Odd also that it seems to suggest that those following Sabertooth were not on the same side. And one has to wonder... is that really Aurora on the cover, or the soon to be identity of that blank slate Sentinel tey rescued this issue?



10/10 Clicks!*



**I'd give it probably an 8/10 normally, thanks to Bachalo's muddy work weakening a 5-star script... but I'm feeling generous since this is practically a holiday-inspiring event, this fun X-book!



* By the way, I exclude Astonishing X-Men. While they CLAIM it's in continuity, it's it's own animal, a complete, self-contained marvelous package by Whedon and Cassiday that so perfectly captures a cinematic, homage vibe that it can't associate it with the normal X ongoings...

Related posts:

1. X-Men # 197 – 199
2. Comics Pull List for 2006
3. Uncanny X-Men #446

So I was discussing my idea for a live action GI Joe movie over in the Transformers movie thread, and 'Lung mentioned that I should start a thread about it. So I sat back and came up with my dream cast for the greatest cartoon ever! So here it is, in all it's fanboy glory.



First the Joes:



Hawk



Played by:

Bruce Willis



You gotta have a strong team leader if you're gonna be taking on the world's deadliest terrorists, and who's better than barking out orders than Bruce Willis. Well, probably R. Lee Ermey, but Bruce would be better when Hawk has to go kick Cobra Commander's head in!



Duke



Played by:

Thomas Jane



The Joes are gonna need a tough field leader, and who better than the Punisher himself. He'd have the respect of his fellow soldiers, and the balls to kill all Cobras!



Snake-Eyes



Played by:

Jason Statham



While probably any athletic person could play 'ol Snakes, I figure there'll be a flashback scene of how he got his face scarred up. So I figure if you're gonna get somebody that can look like Snake-Eyes, you might as well get somebody who can perform his ninja skills AND combat skills. And Jason Statham fits that bill. He's already shown his expertise at martial arts, and he's pretty handy with a gun. Plus, he looks enough like Snakes pre-scarring, that you can't go wrong.



Scarlett



Played by:

Jennifer Garner



And you gotta have Snake-Eyes' love interest! Why? 'Cause she's a redhead! Plus, she'll kick all kinds of Cobra ass! And Jennifer Garner has shown she can kick any ass you throw at her. Just give her the red hair dammit! She's used to disguises anyways. Another talent she shares with Scarlett--master of disguise!



Roadblock



Played by:

Ving Rhames



You have to have at least one bad ass mo' fo' on the team, right? Well, I can't think of anybody better to play the machine gun totin', meal makin', ryhme spoutin' Joe than Mr. Rhames. Hell, his name even sounds like rhymes! And he's big enough to carry that Browning .50 cal Roadblock always had. Plus the bald head and the mustache! Perfect!



Flint



Played by:

Clive Owen



Gotta have Flint. Gotta! Why? Because he's hardcore enough to wear a beret!! That's badass! And Clive Owen proved in Sin City that he's badass and won't take shit from anyone. So 1+1=Cobra death!



Lady Jaye



Played by:

Evangeline Lilly



You gotta have Flint's love interest so they can go on a double date with Snake-Eyes and Scarlett. A double date of kicking Cobra's ass! (Hmmm...lots of ass kicking going on, huh?) Plus, you have to have the sexpot of the team. While I was always fond of Cover Girl (who I'm not even casting!!) and Scarlett, I never denied Jaye was the sex symbol. In the comics, to the toys, to the cartoon, her jumpsuit was always unzipped showing a nice amount of cleavage. And I'd sure love an excuse to see more of Evangeline Lilly's cleavage! I think she and Clive would look pretty convincing as a couple too. So if she's not playing Wonder Woman, she can be part of America's Premier Fighting Force!



Now for Cobra:



Cobra Commander



Voiced by:

Gary Oldman



What? Did you think I was gonna say Serpentor? No, there's only one true leader of Cobra. And that's Cobra Commander!! Either in the hood or the helmet, is fine. Preferably both. But since we'll never see his face, you gotta have someone with a true maniacal voice. Gary proved that in The Professional. There's that one line where he says to "kill EVE-RY-ONE!!!" that just solidifies it for me.



Destro



Voiced by:

Michael Clarke Duncan



Now before anyone brings up the fact that over in the Transformers Movie thread I was saying that the original voice actors should be the only ones doing the voices, let me say, the same goes for this movie. But I think Cobra Commander's voice actor died. I could be wrong, be one of the voice actors died a while back. So I'm just giving my choices if the originals aren't available. Besides, who wouldn't want to hear Duncan's smooth low voice as Destro??? His voice fits perfectly with the original!



Baroness



Played by:

Famke Janssen



Cobra's gotta have a couple too, right? Well, they really only had one, so here you go! Cobra didn't have too many females, so Baroness was the obvious choice. Plus she's a smokin' hot devious villain. And as she proved in GoldenEye, my queen Jean Grey herself, Famke Janssen, can use all her talents in so many evil ways. Which includes guns, AND her legs! And as shown in X3, she can give those glaring looks that kill that'll come in handy when Cobra Commander's "fool-proof" plans are foiled yet again!!



Storm Shadow



Played by:

Chow Yun Fat



You know the movie's gotta have the epic be-all end-all of ninja fights, so Storm Shadow's a no-brainer! Admittedly, my first choice was the master of ninja movies, Sho Kosugi, but he's waaay too old now. Fat's probably better with guns, but has used swords also. He's got the voice too. Plus, he's awesome!





So there you go. There's more Cobras I coulda come up with, but most of them use masks, so it's kinda pointless. Hopefully they use Zartan and Major Bludd too. I didn't pick a ton for each side, because you don't want the teams to be so big that the characters are only on-screen for a few scenes. But you do gotta have a ton of no-name Joe and Cobra soldiers so they can die in a big R-rated, bloody, action-fest! And have a big name action director to do it. Like John McTiernan, John Woo, or even Brett Ratner. Because, while this should have some plot, it better have non-stop action!!! And use tons of the vehicles. That would rock! 20th Century FOX has to release it also. They do the best at marketing. Gotta have my movie merchandise!

Related posts:

1. The A-Team – R3 Fantasy Film
2. Avengers – R3 Fantasy Film
3. Knight Rider – R3 Fantasy Film

Less Current »