Wolverine #47

Writer: Marc Guggenheim

Penciler: Humberto Ramos





Ok this Issue starts where 46 left off (well DUH!) with Logan in the middle of getting his head almost lopped off by a Damage Control guard with a Supposedly Adamantium Buzz saw blade, I say Supposedly cause the damn thing gets stuck and jams as soon as it hits Logan’s Bones this ends up with Logan on the ground and a bunch of Jack-asses in rip-off suits thinking that they have beat Logan, this is rectified pretty quickly though since Janus and another Atlantean (Logan never caught her name so naturally we don’t either) appear and start kicking ass, we find out that Logan requested the Back-up and is now an ally of the Kingdom (going up in the world) Basically the only reason he needed back-up was incase something to big went after him and Sentry qualifies as that unfortunately so after Sentry flapping his gums bout being able to hurt Logan quite a bit the two actually start going at it, while the Atlanteans deal with a squad of Cape-Killers and whatever was left of the DC morons and then Janus (the male Atlantean) attacks Sentry but this is while he is dodging Logan and complaining that he did not want to get involved in any of this (he takes Janus out in a pinch) he grabs Logan’s hand and starts Squeezing the claws into his hand and tears a Tendon in Logan’s hand while doing this after that he punches Logan clean out.

When Logan awakes he finds himself with a snazzy new Restraint collar and matching gloves aboard the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helli-Carrier he even gets taken straight to Director Hill as she informs Logan when he calls her Maria, during this time Logan asks bout his two Atlantean friends and where they are Hill informs him that since they have Diplomatic immunity she had to let them go, straight after this she accuses Logan of opposing the Registration act to which he replies that all he was coming down on was a Stinking War Profiter (Walter Declun CEO of DC) Hill is unimpressed she basically says that Declun is friends with high up people and she can’t do anything even if she wanted to (S.H.I.E.L.D have turned into a bunch of Pussies since Nick left) this starts the two of them talking bout the Registration Act and how Logan see’s it as Facism this sparks a funny little line from Logan bout how he seems to Remember that America’s motto was “Give me Liberty or give me Death” and since he’s Canandian that might be why he’s confused Hill then asks him if all Canadians are this judgemental and he states when it comes to America Pretty much, Hill then threatens him with the usual crap of either supporting the act or spending the rest of his long life in shackles, although Logan has the best reply when he states that he could just cut his way outta the shackles steal her gun and shoot his way out, she says that he is wearing a Level 10 power nullifier and that he couldn’t do it Logan’s answer is to tell her that everybody always assumes that his Claws since they are a genetic mutation are a super power but he can still pop them anyway he then runs at Hill grabs her gun shoots the main window and jumps straight out Logan is now falling to the ground quite quickly and trying to remove the collar since he says that this is gonna hurt and he is gonna need his Healing Factor.

The book then goes back to Damage Control where Anne-Marie Hoag is attempting to get her company back from Declun who states this will only happen over his dead body to which Logan appears and says oh please can I? Decluns supporters run away and Logan then tells him what he is gonna do to him this Provokes Declun into taking MGH and spearing Logan outta the window into the street below while this is occurring all dialog stops and now appears in box form as if Logan is talking to someone about the fight Logan states that Declun was a rabid dog but then someone else tells him that, that is making excuses for him and he was simply Evil Logan then goes on to explain his take on Evil (at the same time as kicking Declun Square in the Nuts) and kicks the living hell outta Declun then you find out he is standing talking to Miriam Sharpe at the Stamford wasteland she asks Logan if he regrets anything he has done since this all started (At this point it shows you Logan stabbing Declun right through both of his Eyes with his claws in front of a street fulla people) and he replies “maybe I should but no… no I don’t”.

The story to this book was quite a good one liked the way that Logan used his new found connections with Atlantis for some help and the fact that he took the piss outta Maria Hill which is always good to see, Didn’t like the Sentry this guy seems to appear like a rash when some hero’s go apparently bad (Tony Stark & Logan) and bitches about not wanting to do this while kicking ass didn’t like the fact that S.H.I.E.L.D. are apparently full of pussies now who won’t do the right thing just cause someone is “Connected”, Loved what happened to Declun and it was even better that he took MGH and still got his ass kicked all over the place. The art was the usual Ramos style large feet and extruded necks all over the place and I thought that Maria Hill looked cute which is the 1st time that I’ve been able to say that (in Retrospect Hill has the Xact same sorta face as Emma frost from issue no 46) all in all this was an enjoyable enough read and though am a big Wolvy fan and very biased am gonna give it an 8 outta 10 Snikts cause I liked it.

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In the recent episode of newly R3-approved TV cheese, "I Pity The Fool," our hero Mr. T brings it to the suburbs to help out the Abato family (pronounced "Uh-BAY-toe." You'll need to know that later). Turns out the Abatos have a problem with their husband/father, Frank. Frank's a lazy-ass-motherfucker who, upon returning from work every day, sits down in the easy chair, not to move again. Frank will actually ask someone to come over and hand him a remote control which is sitting 6" from his foot, or to turn off a light behind him so he doesn't have to turn around. It's pretty bad, frankly (heh), and only The T can help!







In this episode, we get a "Ki-YAH!" (Perhaps a "Kah!" -- jury's still out), a "Thusly," the strangest pronounciation of the word "comfortable" EVER ("CAHN-ta-buh"), plates and plates of bacon, and the T's patented, R3-approved, red-and-white tracksuit.







Frank's wife and kids each have their own issues with Frank's laziness. The wife wants him to come ballroom dancing with her. The son wants Frank to teach him to drive. And the daughter wants to just go have some dad time, doing stuff she likes to do -- which in this particular instance turns out to be a day at some crazy adolescent version of Chuck E. Cheese.



Let's start at the start, where the T describes that members of a family are like the individual fingers on a hand. (Holds up his hand, open, palm facing the camera.) Individually, they are limited in their strength, but put em together (balls up a fist) and "KI-YAH!" Pause TiVo. Laugh my ass off. As the T puts it, "Ah-BAY-toe, Ah-BAH-toe, what this family needs is UNI-T!" Pause TiVo. Laugh my ass off.



Memorable quotes from this episode...



"Do you know what the biggest room in a house is? Room for improvement."

"Don't you jive me, Frank!"

"Me and Frank'll just sit here and jibba-jabba."



And perhaps my favorite quote from the whole episode, while watching Frank and his daughter play air hockey...



"They may call it air hockey, but I call it love hockey." Pause TiVo. Laugh my ass off.



In the end, the T gets Frank out of his chair to spend the day with his daughter, to teach his son to drive, and into a suit and over to the ballroom dance class to watch his wife. This is actually pretty sweet, because the T is wisely getting Frank to make baby steps. Come into the kitchen while dinner is being cooked, vs. actually helping to cook dinner. Go watch the ballroom class, vs. actually dancing. Baby steps. But at the class, after Mr. T dances with Frank's wife, Frank finally is finally convinced and takes to the floor. It's sweet.







Then the T and Frank burn the easy chair. FIRE! YES!



This show doesn't have a very long lifespan I bet, but it's funny while it's here.

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Well, there goes $4 and 20 minutes of my life I'll never get back. What utter crap.

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Behold. VIDEOof a real Transformer.

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Well, not really, but THISis pretty good anyway...

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THIScould be the best product ever invented.







The "Cap'n Danger Stunt Monkey."



BELIEVE.

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Rite please tell me you all watch this amazing show? did any1 see this weeks one, HAR Phil Ken Sebben is one of the funniest Characters around.

The inclusion of Atom Ant as the reason for the Incredible Pottamus was fun, Reducto going all Golem with Inch High was fun and kinda weird, Surprisingly there wasn't much Birdman, but quite a bit of Birdgirl being Pottamus' Betty, when she was trying to calm him down by doing all the stretches and breathing was sooo funny especially since it made Pottamus say the now classic for me: Don't get me Horny you won't like me when I'm Horny!!!

Then of course you have the Psychotic one Eyed boss Phil just trying his damndest to kill something and failing. This was just one funny damned episode.

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Oh, man. If you want a good laugh, watch this show. This isn't a show that's gonna change your life, and it's not a show that you'll feel robbed if you miss. But if you're a child of the 80s, or a pop culture junkie, or you just don't want no jibba-jabba -- you really should TiVo it for one of those lazy weekend mornings.



The basic premise we all know -- Mr. T goes around "teachin fools the basic rules." In this episode, he was teaching the staff at a car dealership "mo-T-vation." This particular car dealership was run by a father and son-in-law, so of course, there were family issues. Plus -- it's a car dealership. So there's scheisters. And yeah, the T fixed everyone's issues. Yay.



The main thing that makes this show so fucking rad, though, is just the T himself. Everyone who knows of the T knows that his whole life has been based on motivation, love, compassion, and a wealth of other positive community issues that none of us ever focus on. This is the shit that drives him. So he's truly excited to help fools out, if for no other reason than it's one less fool to pity. So watching him bounce and run and swing at the fences is one thing that makes you belly laugh.



The other is his COMPLETELY over-the-top behaviour. In this episode, he challenges the staff to motivate and sell 20 cars in 48 hours. And in order to make sure that they succeed, he puts on a suit and tie and tries to sell a couple cars himself. A suit and tie and American-flag-print Chuck Taylors, that is. First, he starts by cold-calling a few people from the dealership's records. "Hi, this is Mr. T, and I'm a salesman down at..." (dial tone) "Hello? Helloooo?" You can understand of course, that you'd be skeptical. So let's move on to when he's actually out on the floor. Couple comes in, they pretty much know what they want, but they just want to check out the details. "Does it have anti-lock brakes?" "Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, it has anti-lock brakes!" (You know he has no fucking idea if it even HAS brakes.) "Does it have good trunk space?" This is where I became completely sold. "You wanna know how much trunk space it has? I'll show you! Mr. T will get INSIDE this trunk!" (Points for referring to himself in the third person, by the way.) But yeah. He actually opens up the trunk, pulls out all the bullshit in there -- ie, the FLOOR COVERING -- and climbs inside, red-white-and-blue sneaks sticking out from under the partially closed lid. (muted voice from the trunk) "See?" I was DYING.



OK, but that's not where it stops. It is the little sayings and shit that he has that will finally keep you coming back for more. Remember he challenged the staff to sell 20 cars in 48 hours? Well, after whatever amount of time, I don't really know or care, they've only sold 8 cars. "EIGHT?! EIGHT CARS?! That's only a THIRD! And THIRD rhymes with TURD!" I had to pause the program at this point and I spent about 20 minutes literally rolling on the floor with laughter. And let's not forget this gem -- "You can't spell success without 'T.'" ??? WHAT. THE. FUCK?? I'm totally using that, by the way. Luckily, WR had warned me that this line was coming about a day before, so I was prepared. But it STILL got me.



That's pretty much all this show is about. The T's dedication. The T's outlandish excitement. And the T's mastery of the English language.



Watch this.



8/10 CLANKS! for humour and pop-culture relevance.

2/10 CLANKS! for actually meaning anything.

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Direction: Michel Gondry

Writing: Michel Gondry



It is nice to know that Love is effed up in any language.



This movie is a painful, but intriguing look at love. We have on the one hand an amazingly introverted, creative protagonist (Gael García Bernal). In the other hand we have a RELUCTANT, creative (and can I say cute) next door neighbor (Charlotte Gainsbourg). (ASIDE: Our protagonist is also attractive). We watch from the fluid transition between"inner world" intreactions and reality how Stephane's attraction to Stephanie grows and changes.



There is barely a dividing line between what happens in the real world for Stephane and in his imagination. For the purposes of the movie, it seems that imagination was transformed into a constant "dream-like" state for the character, almost a fugue. At points he is unsure whether he is living or dreaming. This effect may not pan out for less attentive or casual watchers of the film. The switching between the two ahs very little attention getting, other than the odd call back to a previous dream or "unreal" action taking place (i.e., strange backgrounds and physically impossible actions). However, the strange synergy between our main character and love interest break these rules together. So reality is very subjective in this film.







That being said, the movie is a great metaphor for imagination. Letting your imagination get the better of you. Following your imagination. Finding someone with which to share your imagination. It is possible, as one "insightful" young lady behind me put it, that our main character is crazy. I tend to disagree with this. I would say that his imagination produces a hard world in which to live. As such, there are reactions to imagined events that make perfect sense. They make sense as long as you understand what the imagined event was, not what reality is. I would say that the depiction of the film is not that he is crazy, but an embelished depiction of doubt. Doubt in this case is the imagination producing a way in which events unfurl and not checking to see if it was accurate. I would say this is a reaction that many people suffer from (i.e., why don't you try it? Because everyone will laugh at me).



We have a secondary cast of cahracters that play into roles in each dream/reality, often in confining/restrictive roles. Martine (Aurélia Petit) and Serge (Sacha Bourdo) pop up over and over again trying to stop our hereo from completing his desires. Guy (Alain Chabat) on the other hand is the id of our story. IN most cases, Guy is simply looking to have sex. However, he also plays an important protective role in Stephane's reality. He is an ass, but he is an ass who listens and puts priorities (more or less).



AS my buddy said, "THat was terribly painful in places."



To which I replied, "Because it was accurate."



We don't mean bad, we mean heartfelt.



Huit / Dix Les Crunches

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Right people does any1 here watch either UF4 or UFC? personally I hate reality shows but the fact that the people who hate each other get to kick the living SHIT out of each other just keeps me watching and the violence is FUN!!!!"!!!!"!!!

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