To quote Stimpy and Sven:



"You scary us!"



http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/robots/perso ... 248470.php

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Babel

Directed by: Alejandro González Iñárritu

Written by: Guillermo Arriaga



Babel is the conglomeration of four semi-independent stories with one major and three minor interconnected plot points. As is evident from the title the piece is about miscommunication. The most pronounced miscommunication, in my opinion, would be the point of the movie as a whole. Of the five people I sat through this 2 hour and 20 minute unraveling, two were not physically violent toward with one of the four stories and the remaining were apathetic and somewhat comatose.



So, as I said it was about miscommunication. One way for this to occur is through the inability of a tourist to even learn basic phrases when traveling abroad. Phrases like: “My wife and I are complete tools,” or “What the hell is up with your crazy hill people?” or “I hate tourists too, wanna go smoke some hash?” Another way for miscommunication to occur is due to emotional instability and more blatantly being deaf. Social cues like “Hey! Chica!” are often misinterpreted when shouted across a room at girls who have hearing impairments. Miscommunication can also occur when you are ignorant and/or bigoted. I refuse to go into this one. Finally, miscommunication can be intentional through omission or commission. It is relatively difficult to bounce back from direct misinformation and usually results in violence and/or masturbation. Don’t ask me, I didn’t write it.



What are the effects of miscommunication? I’m happy you asked. It seems that miscommunication impacts American tourists with bullets and strange medicine women. It seems that miscommunication impacts Japanese girls with a raging case of the “hornies”. It seems that miscommunication impacts illegal immigrant house keepers with idiot relatives, fair weather friends, negligent employers, and outrageously bigoted police officers. The hill people also get the outrageously bigoted police officers due to their miscommunication. There are other people affected by miscommunication, but mostly they are just beaten mentally and physically.



Sadly, all these stories are tied together. The ties are obvious and remote. Some of the ties seem to be afterthoughts, like: “Holy shit! I just wrote this kick ass (not really) 20 minute bit whilst on speed and a strange pill with a horse on the side, but it doesn’t really fit. What should I do? I know, I’ll make this guy the ice cream vendor that stole Brad Pitt’s change! BRILLIANT!” In other words, the last season and a half of Lost flashbacks, but even crappier.



It seems the main message is “Stay in your own damn country!” The isolationist (Americans getting murdered in foreign countries) tendencies of movies lately has really pushed my buttons. I understand that this is NOT the real message of the movie. The real message is to try to understand from where the other person is coming. Sadly, it is miscommunicated in the telling.



I give it 3/10 crunches for decent camera work and full frontal.

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Before watching this movie, the following was the entirety of my knowledge of Bettie Page...



-> Pin-up queen

-> Known for her many bondage shots, which were essentially illegal at the time she did em.

-> Visual model for many a rockabilly Suicide Girls' steez.



Not much. But definitely enough to want to see a movie about her, so I did, and I was surprised, enlightened, and thoroughly entertained.



The movie is GREAT for learning about Bettie Page, though, as with any movie of this vein, I would wonder what was glamourized, what was exaggerated, etc.. Even so. I knew going into this movie that Bettie Page was a trendsetter, or perhaps more appropriately, a trend BUCKER. This always endears me to a figure, but especially to a woman, who, no matter what the masses would have you believe, still has it worse than a man. And at the time that Bettie was confidently doing what she wanted to without answering to anyone else (HOT), this was even more so.



One of the many things I learned from this flick was that Bettie Page actually did TWO types of posed shots -- the pin-ups for which she became immediately well known, and also the bondage shots (and eventually some little films, too) for which she was more ... notorious. I had originally thought these were all sort of one and the same, but the movie showed how it had to be in those days, where all the latter variety had to be handled MUCH more secretively. We live now in a time where we can be blissfully ignorant of the deliniation between the two, and with our history blinders, we can see a handful of Bettie Page pinups right next to her bondage shots, and never know that the two were so separate. Very interesting.



Perhaps the most enlightening/surprising thing about Bettie that I learned from the movie was that she was pretty staunchly Christian. Now I often sound kind of outspoken and insensitive when I talk about religion, but that's more about what the institution of it has been perverted into, rather than dissing on an individual's belief system. And whether or not that has anything to do with my ADORATION of a woman who was able to justify/own/etc. her sexually suggestive use of her body as a means to an end is still up for debate. Suffice it to say that this single fact opened my mind to a broader sense of acceptance of the power of the individual to see beyond the smallness of the Bible and into the core of a fundamentally harmless guidance system for a culture. And when you have a moment like that from a MOVIE, it's a good thing.



Unfortunately, Bettie suffered at the hands of the powers that be, who were trying to make an example of her in trying to stop some good-natured eye candy. She didn't have to do any time or anything like that, but she had to answer to a lot of people, including her own family, who'd not known anything about her bondage shots, instead just thinking their little grrl was a pin-up queen and nothing more. And this caused her to re-evaluate her choice of professions. She rediscovered her relationship with her god, and she put the titty shots behind her.



The story of Bettie Page isn't sad, per se, but hers was definitely a life full of doubts and questions, regardless of her outward confidence and knowledge of self.



This is an outstanding movie, an enlightening movie, and an entertaining movie, if not a perfect one. I give it 7/10 CLANKS! plus a bonus CLANK! for Gretchen Mol going full-frontal.



If you do Netflix this, check out the special features, because there's a great little gem in there of the real Bettie Page, doing a silent strip tease.

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But admiting it automatically invalidates all of his hard work, so... what that football ninja?

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Quite literally!

Except for where 'ninja' is the regional nickname for the feared black-clad paramilitary police...suffice to say, they WILL kill the whole village, but it's unpleasant in context.

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http://www.ninjalovespirate.com/



a game tailor-made for us!



Plus... ROBOTS!

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Jesus.



You know, it's well-documented that this kid loves him some slasher flicks. But this thing was just a fucking vile mess. I should say off the bat that I didn't even watch it all the way through, so this review, which will garner a 0 CLANK! rating, is based solely on what I was able to gather up from about half a movie.



First, let's briefly hit the original 1974 "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre." This movie was made at a time when American's fascination with serial killers was at an all-time high. The 60s had seen the Boston Strangler, the Manson family, and the famous Zodiac killer. The 70s ushered in Gacy, Berkowitz, Bundy, and the Hillside Strangler. And while some of these 70s killers didn't start up till after "TCM," this was still a 20-year span of madness which is yet unrivaled. So the original "TCM" engaged audiences in a perversely educational and insightful way. It was also shocking, because at the time, horror movies didn't get this raw.



Then in 2003, they remade it. And this time, it had a different appeal, at least to me. It was able to show the same story (loosely based on the 50s serial killer Ed Gein) in a much more visceral (read : bloody) way, but it didn't deviate from the original, genuinely scary storyline.



Enter "TCM : The Beginning," which was advertised as witness to "the birth of Leatherface." This can be taken both literally and figuratively, as the opening scene is of a woman who's (I think) intended to be believed as not knowing she's pregnant, giving birth to a horribly deformed baby on the floor of a meat-packing plant. The woman dies, the baby is thrown away, and someone finds it and takes it home. Roll opening credits, which are some of the most foul and disgusting montages I've EVER seen, in a long time of soaking up slasher flicks. Then cut to the story proper, in which a group of kids gets waylaid and ends up in the house. Slash, cut, chop, skin, blah, blah, blah.



Look, making a slasher flick for the sake of gore is not original. The ORIGINAL way to make this movie would be to save all the nasty for the END, after showing a lifetime of abuse or something else. Make it less of a slasher flick and more of an EMOTIONAL horror. But no. They jammed all the backstory into the opening montage and then took the easy way out, with cannibalism galore and blood spraying in geysers all over the camera lens. They went full-bore into the mess of guts and flayings and treating people as livestock to be butchered, and disgusting walls and tables slick with blood, and the whole unoriginal mess.



I don't know, maybe I expected a little more because of the long, rich history of the saga, or maybe I just wanted to see a slasher flick on par with something like "Saw," which, no matter what Dorito says (wink!), at least had an INTENT to be something more than chop-em-up violence fixation, which is all "TCM : The Beginning" was.



I was sorely disappointed with this, and as I said, I sent it back half unwatched.



0/10 CLANKS! and a complete waste of anyone's time.

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Cannot. Look. Away. Feel. Dirty.



http://www.santasm.net/





And not the good kind at all.





Fnard







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Posted today on Marvel.com with no explanations, just to keep that misinformation flowin'...

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