I haven't seen a movie on opening day in a while, but thanks to the almighty-yet-stupidly-named Fandango, my buddy Hugh and I were able to catch a 6:30 show yesterday



Wow.



I realllly liked this movie. It was not perfect; the climactic battle involving the maelstrom could easily have been trimmed by 15 minutes to the betterment of the film (it is awfully long) and there are one or two logic issues towards the end, but an excellent wrap-up of the series; yes, if they wanted to they could go on, but I really hope they don't, just because I think they've told all the tales they have to tell at this point.



High points (trying to avoid spoilers here, but read with caution just in case):



Elizabeth Swann kicks ass. I like that they have adapted this character over time once they realized that Keira could handle the swordplay, and her Chinese battle gear just rocks.



Junks! Like the coolest ships ever invented.



Ongoing rivalry between Barbossa and Jack, like two brothers who can't help but sucker punch each other when their back is turned.



The opening sequence in Singapore; just a lot of cool stuff going on, with amazing sets and way-cool background characters.



Cap'n Jack's first appearance. Trippy as all hell.



The pirates from around the world. So many cool looks!



Much better use of humor than in DMC. I think it the last one they were trying to use the gags to remind people why they liked these movies, and it felt like a comedy club, but in the blunt instrument sense of the word; perhaps because they just released one last year, they felt this was no longer necessary.



Excellent use of supporting characters, as opposed to the frequent awkwardness of Spidey 3.



Some downright chilling supernatural scenes which were both imaginative and haunting.



I don't want to just go on and on about how great it is, since lowered expectations usually help enjoy a film, but I really liked it even though it was a bit too long.



8/10 Grims! (lame comic book tie-in )



p.s. There is a little bit after the credits, like in the first two, but the tone is somewhat different - nuff said!

Related posts:

1. Pirates of the Caribbean 2 : Dead Man’s Chest
2. Pirates of the Caribbean
3. The Incredible Hulk

This is very wrong

a) it's emoticons, my sworn enemy

2) illuminated car signage illicits rage from other drivers

d) i would die from it's use



But oh, how I had to resist ordering it. Oh my.

To brake tap on a tailgater to freak them out, then flash the sadicon?

Oh.



http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/8e9a/

Related posts:

1. Wrong: Drivicons
2. Wrong: AutoGrill
3. Wrong: Grab-it Pack Leg Holster

I understand the need to enforce a copyright, and frankly, i suppose I don't blame them for coming down on Ann Summers Sex Shop for these ads, but really, it STILL subliminally reinforces the desire for Apple products anyway!



Well, anyhow, the Apple legal team are after them.



http://macdailynews.com/index.php/weblo ... nts/13697/

Related posts:

1. apple – 1, psystar – 0
2. Google TV
3. Apple Does this Bot Right Once Again

Moon Knight #8

Writer: Charlie Huston

Artist: Mico Suayan



So, Huston and Suayan have made some improvements in this issue, but really only because the last one was so bad. Plotwise...uh, I didn't see much of one. MK got all dressed up to...go talk with the Punisher, standing by while Castle mows down punkers or something... then he...flies back home. In a series where I think we've seen him actually progress the plot in costume maybe two times in 10 issues, relying otherwise on pin-ups and gory flashbacks for the white cowl scenes, this was extra-cheap. Later, Spector finds the Profiler and strongarms him into finding the Midnight Man for him... while Jeff and someone or other watch him from a storm drain. End credits!



Thematically, Huston's continuing to try and carve out some interesting psychology for Spector, beyond the somewhat hackneyed 'is he crazy, or does Khonshu exist?' or the three-split-personalities crisis that bored me as a kid. Here, we see a lot, TOO much maybe, of Spector's issues, largely in the form of his narrative 'invisible friend' int he form of Khonshu wearing Bushmaster's skullface corpse. And while this has been exceptionally droll at times, and very, very out-of-character, with the question of Khonshu's existence reinforced by the campy, sarcastic clowning of the Bushmaster corpse. I'm sorry, but the Khonshu I know wouldn't bother with that crap. I don't care HOW much the cipher is generated from Spector's own psyche. The real Bushmaster wasn't a tool, so. Anyway, I will give Huston credit for the exchange between Castle and Spector. No blows, just a comparison of their two vigilante styles, their relative attitudes about morality and justification, made all the more interesting because Khonshu/Bushmaster appears to admire Punisher, and his 'serving of another, wearing his symbol proudly' as if disappointed in Spector like a demanding parent. It just grated how the senseless mowing down of these thugs in the street was going on in the background. It was like equal parts of wrongness: the most superficial concept of the character of the Punisher, combined with a serious lack of understanding of means and methods (one minute he's shooting bullpup configuration in suppressive fire, sweeping bullets into the crowd, and the next he's popping individuals with a sniper rifle, at the same range.)



Suayan is more enjoyable to read, from an art perspective, compared to Finch's overdone business, but here, he's terribly uneven. The beginning and ends of the book are finely, richly inked. The middle is little more than pencil roughs. I can't decide whether they decided to insert the only interesting part of this issue as hastily assembled afterthought, or if it was an attempt to further rationalize the Castle/Spectre meeting, int he wake of early criticism that the weak Civil War tie-ins in ancilliary books were heavy-handed and irrational. Frankly, I'm just biding my time for a more interesting writer, and less baroque artist. Because i still love Moon Knight, despite the multitude of issues here.



Last thing: I really dislike that the chest insignia seems to be an overlay on top of the centerline seaming of his tunic. What gives? How does that work?



5/10 Clicks

Related posts:

1. Moon Knight #2
2. Moon Knight #7
3. How to Fix: Moon Knight Gone Wrong, Briefly Right

What happens when you try and stuff 10 pounds of shit into a 5-pound bag?







1/10 CLANKS! because Bruce Campbell's role kicked ass.

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1. The A-Team – R3 Fantasy Film
2. DIY Shark Attack Cap
3. Sky High

So, we haven't been reviewing Season 3 since the return to broadcast, for a variety of factors (Lung has been iffy on the show, I've been swamped, no one else came forward with the moxie) so I thought we might discuss the finale, and iif I have time to work backwards on some additional Season 3 reviews, i will, and if not, we'll just push things forrrrward. But don't think for a moment that i'm not loving Lost. In fact, I haven't enjoyed Lost so much, in these last few episodes, than in practically a full season's worth of content.

The Setup:

Charlie's been captured on the Looking Glass station, having swam down to disconnect a signal jamming system, and then drown, as per Desmond's flashbacks.

Naomi, a mysterious helicopter pilot/passenger, has parachuted from a crashing helicopter (apparently) onto the Island, knows Desmond, claims to be from Penny Wydmore's rescue operation, from a freighter 80 miles off-shore, and has a sat phone, which she can use to call in a rescue... except her signal's being jammed... by the equipment on the Looking Glass Station.

Locke has been with the Others, called Ben's leadership, and his connection to the unseen 'Jacob', into question, and called him out. After visiting a mystery shack full of smoke and mirror haunting effects, wherein Ben spoke to a chair convincingly (except where he gripped it too closely for an invisible human to be sitting) and Locke heard a ghostly 'Help me!' in the familiar voice of Cuse, one of the show's producers, Ben has led Locke away, to the sight of a mass grave, the sum total of the remains (except for Ben's Dad's seleton, anyway) of the original Dharma Initiative members, who Ben helped the Hostiles kill off in a brilliant coup a few flashbacks back. Ben shot Locke in the gut, and seemed horrified that Locke could hear Jacob. Can't have that sort of competition! Locke is left for dead.

The Others are planning to raid the Losties beach, and capture the women, primarily the pregnant ones and the mommies. Juliet, the former Other (apparently) has revealed this plan to the Losties, and a multi-pronged plan has been hatched. While Charlie and Desmond are to deactivate the jamming equipment on The Looking Glass Station, the majority of the losties will hike up to the radio tower at the highest point on the island, where they believe they will have the best signal reception, and certainly have, as Sam Elliot said in Gettysburg, 'good ground', though they don't actually have any weapons. Meanwhile, Jin, Sayid and Bernard ('You're a dentist, not Rambo. Say it!') stay behind in a possible suicide mission, to use firearms from sniper's nests to detonate dynamite traps in the abandoned tents. Killing the Others raiding party. Kicking ass.


The Skinny:

Well, Charlie's well fucked. The LGS is occupied by two femme warriors, who prove to be Others who've made a presumably lifetime-commitment to guard the station against... whatever... in secret. They are pretty militant. They don't like Losties breaching their underwater sub berth. Which, by it's exisetence, suggests that they rely on the now-destroyed (apparently) sub for supplies and transport. So they're pretty well fucked too. A great bound captive violent interrogation ensues, complete with mysterious, flippant, mindgaming victim, overly-aggressive torturer, and voice of reason on the side... exactly mirroring Sayid's torture of Ben last season. A call in to Ben confirms his fear: the Losties are after that comm equipment, Juliet ratted the Others out, and the Losties even have a damn sat phone. Or should I say iPhone?



Meanwhile, Ben has tried to contact his black ops team to get them to fall back, fearing that Juliet primed the Losties, and the escaped Karl warned them the raid was coming a day earlier than originally planned. But, logically, radios are silent for the operation. Evem though we naturally suspect Bernard will blow it, he and Sayid both manage to set their dynamite off with rifleshot, killing many Others in satisfying explosions. Jin, however, has trouble with his pistol. Combat ensues, and the three are captured, and when bernard cracks under duress and reveals the full scope of the plan, Ben flips out and heads out on an intercept course to convince Jack not to contact the outside world, with disloyal daughter (apparently) in tow. Along the trek up the hill, Jack refuses to let anyone turn around and go back to try and assist their snipers (they saw two smoke plumes, so they no the plan went pear-shaped) because he made that tough leadership decision to act in the interest of the greater good, not the individuals on the beach. Kate wants to go back, and is rebuked by Sawyer. Then Sawyer announces HE's going back, and rebukes Kate from joining HIM. Juliet volunteers to go with, saying she knows where yet another mystery cache is hidden, which will get them Ramboized and ready for a rescue. Hurley wants to come, but is blown off.
Unfortunately, Sawyer learns that there ARE no guns (a satisfying result, and answering my incredulous attack on the plasma at the mention of yet another secret stash of something or other [recall the last one, the medicinal stash, which equally outraged me, turned out to be a recently-located plant for her cover, which was cool, and i was relieved]) and further, that they, too, are now about to be well-fucked (though not as well-fucked as the rejected (apparently) Kate.

On tLGS, Desmond has been chased into the water by Mikhail, dispatched by Ben to restore order. He surfaces in the station's sub berth, and then hides before the femme warriors see him. When Mikhail surfaces with scuba gear and warns of Desmond's presence, he then talks to Ben in the control room for a few minutes, and is told to kill the Losties, kill the femme warriors, and be FAITHFUL about it. Note how the faith/logic pendulum swings the other way again. We think he's questioning his orders, but then he caps the ladies anyway, but before he can do Charlie in, Desmond gets him with a harpoon!

Meanwhile, Locke is in that mass grave, dying from his wound, and disabled again. But creepy-older-Walt appears, tells him to get his ass up and not suicide himself, and then gives him a mission.

Ben intercepts the Losties a short distance from the top of the mountain, and begs Jack not to contact the ship. Naomi's not what she appears, he says. Jack will doom them all. Plus, he'll have the snipers killed. Bad ass jack bluffs him out, and the snipers are heard being shot (apparently) and jack swears revenge, but keeps on keepin on with the plan, with a short break to meat-tenderize Ben's cranium. We also get to see Alex meet her mother for the first time ('help me tie him up' is such great Lost-style mother/daughter bonding) and off they go to the top.

Charlie had a code to implement, and does so, one that he seems destined to administer. Once the jamming is down, an incoming call appears... from Penny. It's a very satisfying scene, as she's shocked to see him, he's excited at the thought of his people's rescue, and of course, you know, Desmond's going to get his... until Charlie learns that a) Penny's not the one running that freighter out there after all, 2) which makes that freighter, and Naomi, bad bad news for lying and d) he has no way of communicating exactly where they are to Penny. Before he can get Desmond on the horn, the B-movie-style not-yet-dead Mikhail swims on the other side of the porthole and unleashes a grenade. Charlie COULD get out of there but he's not tempting, uh, fate, and locks the hatch door to contain the flooding, and we see a heartbreaking death scene... it had it's literal Star Trek II moment, but it was truly inspired for Charlie to write out a warning to Des onhis hand with that ever-present Sharpie. What a way to go out!

On the beach, as Sawyer and Juliet try to figure out how they want to execute their unarmed suicide mission, they hear the telltale clackity-clack of Cerberus approaching. But no! That's the rattly second gear of a Dharma bus, and it's Hurley, awesomely barreling through the forest, mashing the Others, and saving the day. Tom tries to surrender, but Sawyer ain't having it. Clack. No jokey nicknames for awhile, I think. Sawyer's a solemn dude, now. Good news, of course, is that everyone's alive, HURLEY did it, and Jack and th Others receive a bad ass transmission from Hurley, threatening any Others within transmission range that he's going to back over their asses with that bus and peel out. It's great stuff.


The jamming's off, and the sat phone is working (Ben is in anguish) but there's no reception, because Rousseau's signal is overriding it (an analog radio signal interfering with a satellite signal, mind you), so they have to trek to the very top where the radio tower is. They get into the station, turn off the repeater, we learn that Rousseau actually climbed up there 8 months pregnant to make that recording (!) and then... eh, phone still won't work, in the building, so out they go to the clearing beyond. But as she's making the connection, Naomi starts American Idoling it, but with geysers of blood pouring out of her maw instead of bad multi-octave harmonics. It's Locke, knife-throwing again, and he says to kill that phone, or he'll shoot Jack, who's aiming to pick it up. Again, Jack shows his balls, and bluffs him out, and makes the call. The guy on the other end is dodgy as fuck, but says he's coming to rescue them, and everybody flips out.

Now, the flashbacks. They started with Jack, bearded and drunk, flying on Oceanic. He's got a mysterious obit notice that troubles him. He's more well-fucked than even Charlie. Later, he's driving on a bridge in LA, stops to jump into the LA river (which is a concrete canal of death and grafitti [go rent To Live and Die in LA, to see it at higher speed, with no grafitti]) but unintentionally causes a distraction for another driver, who crashes. He saves her and her child, is declared a hero, but clearly caused it, so he's now got guilt, self-loathing, a savior/martyr complex AND is lying through his teeth. He sees Carol Vessey (hot AND pregnant) who is disturbed by him. He makes several stalky cellphone calls, he visits an empty casket viewing of a mysterous dead individual who is neither friend, nor family, (apparently) and then he gets busted as he more and more recklessly loses himself into an oxycontin habit. At the end, he's in a shredded apartment, blown out of his gourd, maps everywhere (!) and makes one more call, and gets through. His recipient reluctantly agrees to meet.

Last scene: sure enough, it's Kate. He's despondent, she's got too much makeup, and they talk about his fear that they never should have left the island, that the rescue was a mistake, and that Jack has been using his Golden Ticket to fly all over the world in the hopes of crashing on the island again. kate is cagey about the funeral she didn't attend, is apparently a kept woman with someone else, and says they SHOULD have left. Jack screams that he wants to go back, as she drives off. Oceanic flight blows by overhead. Roll end credits.

:::

BOOM! Best episode ever!

Thoughts:

1. Flash Forward: I swear, i had a hunch it was the future, or rather, the present, from the initial plane sequence. I saw how it was intended to seem like it was Jack's post Carol Vessey dark period, but I just KNEW it. So I was pleased when I saw those maps, and it knew it was. I don't know who was in the coffin. I think it was Ben. I didn't know who was meeting Jack. For some reason, I felt like it was going to be someone like Penny. I wondered if Jack was the ONLY survivor, until Kate showed up. Anyway, AWESOME AWESOME I says. This set up a wide-open playing field for the remaining seasons, for the narrative structure, everything. I also liked how Jack took on all of his father's guilty problems: the drinking, the abusiveness, the shaking hands. And even his constant ranting about dear old dad was great too, adding to his apparent insanity in the eyes of everyone at the hospital. I read this morning two additional clues: that the funeral parlor was an anagram for 'Flash Forward' and that he's using a new RAZR phone (a 2006 model) making it present day. Cool.

2. Walt: Too bad they decided to use Walt as the cipher for Locke's godhead mission. It makes the most sense, from a narrative POV, but really, that could have been his ex-lover, or anyone. Too bad. Because older-Walt is creepy. Clearly, this was Cerberus... but Cerberus is acting in defense of the island? Maybe? So was Locke super-healed and super-empowered?

3. I was intrigued by Mikhail's 'I thought you were on assignmant in Canada" comment. It's not the first Canadian reference for the Others, but it does suggest that this group, not necessarily, or in addition to, the Dharma Initiative, are acting off the island as well, beyond the Oregon installation.



4. According to the Lost supersites, the HD screencaps on the obituary say the name was Jeremy Bentham. Historically, Bentham was a utilitarian philsopher, influenced by John Locke and David Hume, whose corpse has been a source of frequent pratfalls, beheadings, thefts and resotrations ont he museum circuit. I still think Ben.

5. So if Naomi isn't with Penny's people, as we've long suspected anyway, who was she? Who are her freighter folks? The bad guys, according to Ben. But who? Wydmore Senior? Another group?

6. Lastly.... the Temple? What temple? The foot statue?

Oh, and I did love Juliet's flippant response to Sawyer's question about the airstrip's purpose: aliens. Good stuff.

10/10 Clicks!

Related posts:

1. Lost Season 2 Finale Podcast
2. Lost : Season 3, Episode 2: "The Glass Ballerina"
3. Lost, Season 2: Episode 13, "The Long Con"

Stormwatch: Post-Human Division #07

Writer: Christos Gage

Artist: Doug Mahnke



As this issue opens, all is lost. The Daemonite-based gang led by Defile have taken the precinct, all Stormwatch PHD members have been neutralized, and all that remains is a pathetic few normal cops holed up somewhere int he basement being surrounded by Daemonite bugaboos. Time for villainous celebration! Unfortunately for the gang, they underestimated our protagonists, and this issue is largely one of those reasonably satisfying reads where you watch them get out of it and kick their captor's asses with impunity, the stuff of any good Ultimates or Authority story. For me, the delight is in the details. Gage gives us interesting glimpses of how the Stromwatch PHD team use their powers, their intellects, or in some cases, just take advantage of opportunity, to win. It's messy and not very altruistic. I dug it.



Fareinheit is iced up by the ice queen, Cooler. Monstrosity, a former PHD member, has been granted rape privileges with Gorgeous, while in his huge super-Daemonite form. Amadeus has been sonically torturing Paris. Attica has his old buddy, the Machinist, on the ropes, who Defile, in one of my favorite scenes, has gored with his giant ridiculous Wildstorm decorative horns. And Lady Decadence has possessed Black Betty. And then there's those cops. How do they get out of it?



Paris chews Amadeus' throat out. Check!

Gorgeous strikes a deal with Monstrosity: attack Defile, and you'll still hook up with me, but I'll actually be INTO it. Check!

Machinist can't heal himself with a few of Attica's techie bits, but he CAN use them to find the weak link in Attica's armor, and deactivate it, releasing the transmission lock, and allowing their distress call to be heard by Stormwatch Prime.

John rescues Machinist, tosses a grenade into Stricture's snakey mouth, and wrangles everyone.

Fareinheit takes advantage of the distraction to generate an asphixiating oxygen burn in Cooler's lungs, choking her out.

And finally, Black Betty gets tasered by John, allowing her to overcome Lady Decadence's control, and uses the opportunity to claw Defile's eyes out.



The villains retrerat, more shamed by their defeat than anything else, and in the closer, Jackson King talks to Fareinheit, whose betrayal led the villains to them int he first place, forgiving her for her weakness in compromising everyone just to get powers back. He tells her it wasn't her fault, Defile's ability is to mentally manipulate his targets, etc. And this was my favorite part: after she leaves, he reveals to John that no, that was BS, she did it voluntarily and needs to be watched.

She gets no convenient 'brainwashed' excuse. She really did sell them all out.

It's awesome.



The team is as conflicted, controversial, and uneven as ever, But they just handed one of the Wildstorm universe's biggest bad nasties his own ass in a sandwich. I loved it. As usual, Gage's dialog was spot on, and Mahnke's pencils and inks are a perfect fit for the book.



We'll see what the new artist can do to make this book his own with the next issue! Too bad on that point. But this was a great final issue for Mahnke.



10/10 Clicks!

Related posts:

1. Stormwatch: Post-Human Division #07
2. Stormwatch: Post-Human Division #06
3. Stormwatch: Post-Human Division #01 – #03

Stormwatch: Post-Human Division #07

Writer: Christos Gage

Artist: Doug Mahnke



As this issue opens, all is lost. The Daemonite-based gang led by Defile have taken the precinct, all Stormwatch PHD members have been neutralized, and all that remains is a pathetic few normal cops holed up somewhere int he basement being surrounded by Daemonite bugaboos. Time for villainous celebration! Unfortunately for the gang, they underestimated our protagonists, and this issue is largely one of those reasonably satisfying reads where you watch them get out of it and kick their captor's asses with impunity, the stuff of any good Ultimates or Authority story. For me, the delight is in the details. Gage gives us interesting glimpses of how the Stromwatch PHD team use their powers, their intellects, or in some cases, just take advantage of opportunity, to win. It's messy and not very altruistic. I dug it.



Fareinheit is iced up by the ice queen, Cooler. Monstrosity, a former PHD member, has been granted rape privileges with Gorgeous, while in his huge super-Daemonite form. Amadeus has been sonically torturing Paris. Attica has his old buddy, the Machinist, on the ropes, who Defile, in one of my favorite scenes, has gored with his giant ridiculous Wildstorm decorative horns. And Lady Decadence has possessed Black Betty. And then there's those cops. How do they get out of it?



Paris chews Amadeus' throat out. Check!

Gorgeous strikes a deal with Monstrosity: attack Defile, and you'll still hook up with me, but I'll actually be INTO it. Check!

Machinist can't heal himself with a few of Attica's techie bits, but he CAN use them to find the weak link in Attica's armor, and deactivate it, releasing the transmission lock, and allowing their distress call to be heard by Stormwatch Prime.

John rescues Machinist, tosses a grenade into Stricture's snakey mouth, and wrangles everyone.

Fareinheit takes advantage of the distraction to generate an asphixiating oxygen burn in Cooler's lungs, choking her out.

And finally, Black Betty gets tasered by John, allowing her to overcome Lady Decadence's control, and uses the opportunity to claw Defile's eyes out.



The villains retrerat, more shamed by their defeat than anything else, and in the closer, Jackson King talks to Fareinheit, whose betrayal led the villains to them int he first place, forgiving her for her weakness in compromising everyone just to get powers back. He tells her it wasn't her fault, Defile's ability is to mentally manipulate his targets, etc. And this was my favorite part: after she leaves, he reveals to John that no, that was BS, she did it voluntarily and needs to be watched.

She gets no convenient 'brainwashed' excuse. She really did sell them all out.

It's awesome.



The team is as conflicted, controversial, and uneven as ever, But they just handed one of the Wildstorm universe's biggest bad nasties his own ass in a sandwich. I loved it. As usual, Gage's dialog was spot on, and Mahnke's pencils and inks are a perfect fit for the book.



We'll see what the new artist can do to make this book his own with the next issue! Too bad on that point. But this was a great final issue for Mahnke.



10/10 Clicks!

Related posts:

1. Stormwatch: Post-Human Division #07
2. Stormwatch: Post-Human Division #06
3. Stormwatch: Post-Human Division #01 – #03

This is from the Wrong but Right but Wrong but Right Department



This jacket has side tubes that absorb the exhaled smoke from your cigarette puffery, and push the heart circulatory system graphics to a deep red the more they accumulate.



http://www.we-make-money-not-art.com/ar ... 009546.php

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2. Smoking Kills Internet2
3. Wrong: Pepsi’s Monkey Decides Contest, Hurts Image

So Senator Midgen, the primary advocate for anti-cellphone laws... crashed her SUV while on the phone.



How about THAT.



http://www.therawfeed.com/2007/05/anti- ... uring.html





Not that i don't agree. Hands-free or die. But man, that's funny.

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3. Wrong: Exploding Cell-Phone Kills Welder

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