Best Robots Ever list...







I don't agree with all of these, to be sure, but some, yes. I note I'm not on it.



http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/ ... 133609.ece

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This article just proves what the R3 Army already knows: talk shit to the wrong e-guy, and get your trailer burned down.



My favorite part was that he stopped to post photos of all the highway signs as he got closer and closer and closer.



http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19980505/?GT1=10150

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Hurty.com published a handy 'Are You a Drunk Astronaut?' guide. Loved it.



:::



Drunk astronauts are easy to spot on earth (except if you're NASA), but what about in outer space? Not so easy.



NASA probably has powdered beer in space, because NASA knows how to prioritize. It's like Tang. Except it's beer. So what do you do when you feel your fellow astronaut might be orbiting under the influence? Nothing, because you're an astronaut and you're drunk too.



Let's say there were interstellar law enforcement spaceships that could police the area around earth (Who cares about the other planets really?). Typical symptoms of drunk driving wouldn't apply. First of all, flying isn't driving and secondly there's nothing to run into in space anyway.



* Appearing to be drunk : "I'm just hungover."

* Turning with wide radius : Take all the space you want. I hear there's a lot of it. From my friends who are astronauts.

* Slow speed: "The sun was in my eyes."

* Almost striking object or vehicle : Doesn't matter as long as you don't actually hit a satellite or earth. I'm partial to earth. Smash as many asteroids as you'd like. Someone just made a game about doing that recently. In 1979.

* Driving on other than designated roadway : Fine, so let's say you're driving a rover on Mars or the moon or something, and you're a little tipsy. If things get hairy you can jump off and float to safety. Or float away forever and die in cold black darkness, because you felt just fine to drive. Didn't you?

* Weaving & Swerving : "I was reaching for my harder drugs."

* Stopping without cause. : The pilot thought he saw a monkey riding a dog.

* Signaling inconsistent with driving actions : They must've been drunk, because I didn't see any hazard lights before the crash.

* Accelerating or decelerating rapidly : "Officer, I wouldn't be in space if I hadn't accelerated rapidly."



Standard field sobriety tests are also relatively useless in space.



* One leg stand. : No gravity!

* Walk heel-toe in a straight line and turn. : Space-walks are extremely dangerous and by the time one is scheduled, the offender might not be drunk anymore. The suspect will also look like they're walking on air, except they won't be, because there isn't any.

* Breathe into a portable or preliminary breath tester. : Once you step outside the vehicle, nobody's breathing.

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Vibram Five Fingers boots...



5 times the wrong of your average pair of wrong Tevas.



http://www.vibramfivefingers.com/



Sorry Go, I know you probably LOVE these cursed things, for better Jam driving response...

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GEE. Take one of my favorite books, change the creative team, make me initially disappointed but then relieved when you make the new team Whdeon and Ryan... then change it AGAIN, after I've accepted this, and make them totally unappetizing to me. Thanks, Marvel!



I know Joao and I differ on this, but Humberto Ramos?!?



http://www.comicbookresources.com/news/ ... i?id=11341

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I haven't read much about the X-books futures from the SDCC because i chose not to be spoiled, where possible, on the slim chance it's interesting stuff. But Ellis and Bianchi on Astonishing? That's a FINE follow-up to Whedon and Cassiday, i'd say.



Warren Ellis discusses it here.

Simone Bianchi does so here.



I note that X-23 is in the frame, Emma does not appear to be, Cyclops has the best Visor upgrade yet, and there's a mystery brunette going on, too. Unless that IS Emma, using a new power. OR... Scarlet Witch, I wonders?

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Awesome! The Gotham Central boys are doing a creator-owned, noirish detective book called Stumptown. I LOVE that we have room in this market for noir books. These are some of my favorites over the last several years. Scene of the Crime, Criminal, Gotham Central, Human Target, Sleeper (early), even Gaydos' Alias work...



Anyway, read on, if you have an interest:



http://www.comicbookresources.com/news/ ... i?id=11391

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So, it is a popular internet pass-time to bitch about death in comics, specifically Marvel and DC.



I disagree. I think Marvel and DC have both killed a few dozen characters in the last few years. And readers may be concerned that several of those characters did not get the big heroic sendoff.



However, I think it's important to note that while Marvel (DC, sorry, is a lost cause) has killed a lot of characters (in Annihilation, X-Men, Avengers, Wolverine, etc), they have created far MORE characters in the last few years, certainly more characters than they did in the 90's.



To kind of pay homage to the good job I think they're doing, I compiled the following wallpaper:



http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/60828981/



This post, I guess, was just to show any Marvel-haters that they ARE trying to push things into the new millennium, they just need the reader support.



So, feel free to pass the wallpaper on to other people! I'm going to send it over to Marvel, too.

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IL: You know, for a couple of loooooong-time urban cyclists, WR and I have never, until last night, taken place in the spectacle that is "Critical Mass."



WR: And despite my years or reservations about this scene, once I decided to do it, a few months back (but not being able to dial in the plan until last night) I was determined to have a positive, peaceful, mellow time of it. And man, we couldn't have asked for better!



IL: For those of you that live in SF, NY, LA, Chicago, London, Melbourne, or just about any other major metropolitan area in the world, you already know about C.M., because on the last working Friday of every month, you can't fucking get ANYWHERE without running into a group of 10,000 cyclists roaming the city. For those of you who don't know, here's the deal...



On the last working Friday of every month, anywhere between hundreds and tens of thousands of bicyclists take to the streets, weaving an unplanned route through the city, with no sanctioning, very little in the way of "leadership," and certainly not a lot of political support. And any political support that Critical Mass DOES get is as a result of a REALLY mellow mayor.



Part protest, part political statement, and all madness, the Mass started in San Francisco with a few dozen cyclists lazily cycling up Market Street in September of 1992, causing massive gridlock and traffic jams. It didn't really get going as such a huge (and international) event, though, until much later, around '97.



WR: Many CM's, NYC being a good example, have made a point of declaring it NOT a political protest, because the legislation used against them was 'protesting without a permit' which was struck down in court, thanks to the work of some bike-friendly legal counsel.



IL: One of the many intents is to stop traffic. To that end, the Mass (quite literally a HUGE living organism) rides wherever it wants, traffic be damned. It runs red lights, holds up buses, taxis, fuckin-a limos, and pretty much gives a hearty "WE own the streets" to every vehicle shy of ambulances and the coppers. As you can well imagine, this pisses some people off mightily.



What's unfortunate is that because of some REALLY aggressive cyclists and some REALLY aggressive and pissed-off motorists, clashes are bound to ensue. What's even more unfortunate is that the moment a motorist starts shit, they've got a incredibly disproportionate amount of cyclists swarming their ass. They CANNOT win. Imagine even for yourself, being all pissed about the whole thing, three bikers in front of your car, holding you up, and you give a little hop to your gas pedal, just lightly threatening. Next thing you know, you've got broken windows and headlights, a busted grill, dented hood, slashed tires, and you're lucky if you haven't been dragged from your car and beaten to cheeseburger meat. There's been years when it's been UUUUGLY. And the motorists ALWAYS lose. Until they create their own event, and take power in numbers, they will NEVER win.



There is an interesting part of the Mass known as "corking," however, which we took part in last night. To "cork" an intersection, individual bikers will position themselves AT the front bumpers of cars going perpendicular to the route while those cars' lights are green. Cars can't move (see the last paragraph), Mass goes through, and when the light turns red for the cars, the "corkers" move on with the Mass, leaving the light to others behind them, for it's next cycle of green/red. Anyway, I'd learned about this just days before (from WR, who found it on THE WIKIPEDIA PAGE), and I thought, "Fuck it, I'm doing it." It's actually quite exhilarating to stand there, holding back, quite literally, TONS of angry motorist, as your brethren ride by, unimpeded, thanking you. "THANKS, CORKERS, WE LOVE YOU!" are the chants as the Mass pedals on through. It's kind of moving, in a way.



WR: My two thoughts about corking, when we did it, aside from the pleasure of working for the betterment of the organism as a whole, were the fact that a) we should be letting buses through. It makes no sense to block a mass transit vehicle, where possible. Sure, not THROUGH the mass, from a safety standpoint (they can wait 5 minutes) but when they want to make a right turn, and we're all going left, they should be allowed to make the turn. In fact, all the cars SHOULD be allowed to. It's unfortunately a safety issue. The small percentage of irate drivers, like the same percentage of troublemaking cyclists, ruin it for everyone. And frankly, I've had many hassles with busdrivers willfully pushing my bike out of the way dangerously, so it's not all roses between mass transit drivers and cyclists in the non-CCM world. But still. B) it's SCARY corking when you see those trucks blow through the crowd and almost kill everyone. And the only answer to that is better corking. In each of those cases, the cyclist trying to get them to wait was to the side, not in front.



IL: Last night's Mass started as it usually does, a block west of the Ferry Building, which marks San Francisco's easternmost entry point. We went up Market Street, then through the Tenderloin (Skid Row), where a Native American burned an American Flag in view of City Hall, then north on Van Ness Avenue (another MAJOR artery), and up and over Lombard Street, "The Crookedest Street In The World." (Not true, incidentally.) That was actually really crazy, at least for WR and I, because we were not riding our geared bikes. We were riding our single-speeds, and my single-speed is a fixed-gear. Which means I can't coast because my pedals move in unison with my wheel. Thus, I rolled down Lombard with my sneaker jammed into my frame at the rear wheel, burning the bottom of my Adidas off and leaving a trail of smoking rubber behind me. Pretty funny shit.



WR: First of all, that flagburner was an idiot. I'm for freedom of speech, but I wish the guy lighting fires in front of a federal building was doing it NOT during CM, especially not even being on a bike. He's usurping OUR organism for his own ends. LAME. And smelly.



Also, that Lombard thing was nuts. I only got about half a block UP the three blocks or so to the top, before my chain was popping off the front ring, so I had to walk the bike up. As a roadie, I rarely walk a bike. But it was cool, totally part of the game with a simple bike. And I got to chat with a gorgeous bikin' babe doing same. The descent was daunting. You have literally thousands of people queuing up for the crooked descent, and you have no room to maneuver, no reliability that the person next to you won't hurtle into you or fall (or, in my case, some idiot won't stop in front of you to pound a beer, purposely disrupting things because he thinks it's cool) and bottom line, my one little break lever was my only means of stopping my bike. I don't have enough experience foot braking like IL, and I couldn't use the cranks to slow it where possible (though IL really couldn't either, at that gradient) so I was FULL-ON squeezing that brake, and trying to keep my descent at about 3 miles an hour but it was still VERY sketch. Fortunately, got to the bottom, looked back and you see this massive crowd of cyclists hooting and hollering and carrying on. It was amazing. The guy with the giant fish vehicle scaled in CDs was still trying to get around the last leg of the street. His tail had almost forcibly unmounted me, actually, earlier on the descent. HA.



IL: From there through North Beach, then through Chinatown, where a bus was crowding us, so one of the Massers pulled the buses power cables off the overhead lines, stalling it where it stood. That was some rich shit right there.



WR: I asked if he could do that to an SUV instead, and he said he wished, and he’d certainly TRY. I think he will, too. Also, I can’t believe you didn’t mention that I asked you to check your arm for directions! DAMMIT! Tole!



IL: From Chinatown through Union Square, then up Geary to City Hall, where we "circled." That's just basically riding ... in a giant circle. I don't get it, but whatever.



WR: More traditional space occupying action/ It was pretty fun, save for the guy with one foot who was riding wildly against the flow.



IL: Over into the Mission, then through Bernal Heights/Bayshore, then Hunter's Point (gang-infested ghetto), then through mine and WR's neighborhood, Potrero Hill, then by the ballpark, and down the Embarcadero.



WR: The mass was doubling in on itself in SoMA, to regroup in the Mission for a huge party, featuring the bike trick/dance stylings of Portland’s ‘Sprockettes’, girls in pink shorts and fishnets doing what, we may NEVER know, but can imagine. But we had the hungers.



IL: It was starting to fizzle out at this point, having covered the entire city over the course of 3 hours, and WR and I cut out to get something to eat. Alas, our intended burger joint was closed, so we went back to the manRoom(tm), ordered a pizza, had a couple beers and fixed WR's SORELY lagging bike, which had been worked the fuck over by the Mass.



WR: MY single had a loose chain, so when we got back, we broke it off, put a new chain I had on, a few links less, so it was super-tight. Man, I wish we had done that the night BEFORE, but it’s awesome now!



IL: All in all it was a really fun thing to do, but we could see where the tensions could explode into massive problems. You've got irate motorists just trying to get the fuck home, and here they run into a bunch of cycling hooligans (outwardly, anyway), keeping them from their homes. On a Friday. And as I said, some of the cyclists are REALLY aggressive. So that doesn't help.



But on the positive tip, the event is VERY camraderie-oriented, with all the cyclists as "friends," at least for those few hours, and with HORDES of on-lookers cheering, taking pictures, and generally supporting the gang mentality. At least for that one Friday afternoon every month.



WR: I also want to mention I was very impressed with the police presence. When we started, there were lots of motorcycle cops out there, and news helicopters above (not crashing) and I was wondering if there was a crackdown commencing. But as we rode, the motorcyclist cops stayed to the rear until it got dark, then moved along the sides and forward, moving in to block the traffic… FOR US… and even later, as we would approach the freeways, they would line up and block the entrances and exits, so that stupid cyclists wouldn’t try anything, and stupid drivers wouldn’t kill anything, respectively. And we had bike cops riding with us. I talked with one for a few miles. He was having a great time. Said it was his favorite beat. And he would roll up and chastise drivers who tried to force their way through. FAR different behavior than I had anticipated. Sure, when we were towards the back, the caboose of squad cars was nerve-wracking, but staying to the middle, all was copasetic.



It was such an exhilarating trip. I was commenting, last night, how we never get to ride in those places, middle of the road, among friends and pleasant strangers (and EHPs) with many, many brand-aware bikes surrounding us, at that mellow speed. It was a truly uplifting and enthusiastic experience, only to be made better next month, when we will have rigged up a system we concocted last night, where we’ll have three (brand aware) holders for frites on the handlebars… nothing beats hot fries on a Critical Mass ride, I suspect!



WR: 9/10 SKREEEEES* (only to be made better with foodstuffs and improved drivetrain mods.)



IL : 9/10 CLINKS!**



*the sound of IL's shoe melting at speed
**the sound of WRs chain popping off the sprocket

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Very blurry.

It's not MY Ultimates, I don't think, but I'll still check it out. I like Joe Mad's line.

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